


Smoke

by adtrstiel, Destielyum



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9/11, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Coffee Shops, College!Cas, F/M, M/M, Normalverse Supernatural, tradgedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:24:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adtrstiel/pseuds/adtrstiel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destielyum/pseuds/Destielyum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All the characters in the story are based on Supernatural. This is all fictional and some characters may be taken out of their actual character's personalities, that's the point of an AU. If you have any feedback, be sure to let me know. This is an ongoing fic and I will say otherwise when it is finished.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Over A Cup of Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters in the story are based on Supernatural. This is all fictional and some characters may be taken out of their actual character's personalities, that's the point of an AU. If you have any feedback, be sure to let me know. This is an ongoing fic and I will say otherwise when it is finished.

November 17th, 1999

Winds were picking up in New York City, people rustled through inches of snow across busy streets, newspapers over heads trying to block the snowfall from meeting them. Children played with snow in empty parking lots and teenagers walked home from school and taunted them, throwing snowballs at them. Dean Winchester strutted down the snow-filled sidewalk, coffee in his hand, smile on his face, newspaper held between his arm and chest. His scarf nearly covered his chin and his hair had specks of snow as he walked into a flowershop. The bell jingled as the owner of the store turned and greeted him kindly, offering and suggesting the flowers of the day. He politely turned them down as he walked to the back to pick out  a bouquet of pink and white lilies. He pressed his nose gently against one, inhaling the scent and he smiled to himself. He walked over to checkout and payed, thanking the owner as he walked out the door. He continued to walk through the bustling traffic on the streets as cars tried to manuveur through inches of snow. His steps were heavy as the snow continued to pile on top of old, dirty snow. When he reached the sidewalk, he jogged down the path until he stopped at a high-rise building, shaking his hair clean of snow and walking through the glass doors. He nodded friendly at the doormen and waited for the elevator to take him up to his penthouse. Fixing his coat and scarf in the elevator, all the way up to the 32nd floor. He nervously took a small, black box from his coat pocket, opening it and staring at the gleaming white silver, nervously breathing. He closed it gently and placed it back in his pocket, smelling the flowers once again until the elevator bell dinged as he arrived on his floor. He walked down the short, secluded hallway and entered the door quietly. He smiled to himself while closing the door ever so smoothly, prancing down the hallway to his room, which the door had been closed to. He took a deep breath and jerked the flowers sternly in front of his chest and he stood up straight. He turned the knob and quietly walked in. Instantly, his body grew warm and the smile was wiped from his innocent face. The flowers fell to the floor and his breathing grew short and delayed. Before him, his girlfriend was straddled upon some unknown man, bare naked and flushed red. The man raised his head to see what the commotion was and widened his eyes at the sight of his presence.

"Dean" she panicked, rushing off the bed to put her clothes back on. He walked furiously down the hallway, fists clenched, he was so upset, he felt like steam would erupt from his ears, "Dean! Dean I can explain!"

"NO! No you can't Jo! How are you gonna...how are you gonna explain  _that_ to me?" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air as she flinched back, shying away from his piercing voice.

"Dean, I'm sorry babe, please-"

"No Jo" he shook his head, hands pressing into the surface of the counters, "I want you out of here."

"Dean" she whispered in shock as the man made his way through the hall. She glanced at him, then back at Dean who's eyes were glued to the man's.

"And who in the hell are  _you?"_ he asked intimidatingly, walking bravely over to him.

"Listen man," he panted, hands out in front of him as if he meant no harm, "she told me she was single" he said hastly. His brown hair was messy and his hazel eyes seemed convincing and innocent as he glared at Jo. "M-my name is Gabriel and I swear to you, I swear to you she said she was single when I met her last month!"

"Last month!?" he shouted, looking back at Jo disappointedly. The man nodded shyly and embarrassed.

"Please, I didn't know, I swear" he pleaded, taking a deep breath.

"Just get out of my house and never come back" he snarled and he let him go easy, turning to Jo with a hard look on his face. "You've been with this man for  _a month?"_ he asked.

"Dean I-"

"There's no logical explanation for this" he told her. He choked on his words and tried holding his tears back but they had already streamed down his face. His eyelashes stuck together from them.

"Dean I'm  _really, really_ sorry" she repeated, "it's just you're always busy and n-never home from work-"

"So that gives you the okay to  _fuck_  someone else?" he asked in disbelief.

"No but-"

"That's what it seems like" he told her and walked to the bar he had in their kitchen and made himself a drink, "I want you out of my house."

"Dean"

"No Jo, I want you out" he repeated. She began to cry and walked to the room to pack her things. Later in the night when she finished, Dean walked over to her and glared. He was so frustrated, he wanted to yell and go off on her but he knew it wasn't worth it. Either way, she'd still be leaving.

"I was gonna ask you to marry me today" he said, pulling the box from his pocket and showing her the astounding ring. Her mouth opened at the sight of it, licking her lips as tears glided down her face, "you just had to ruin it. But thank goodness I found out before I asked, or else you would've kept going behind my back." She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him, he instantly pulled away and held his hand in front of him.

"Stop, we're done, don't act stupid" he told her, removing a necklace from his neck and placing it in her hand, "I don't need this anymore, I don't need anything from you anymore. Give it to someone else you're gonna cheat on."

"Dean..where am I supposed to go?" she sniffled, rubbing her nose into a napkin.

"I heard Gabriel is a nice guy" he remarked, opening the front door and waiting for her to exit. 

"Dean please give me another chance" she begged, trying to stop her tears.

"No, no cheaters deserve second chances" he whispered and pointed out the door. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes, fixing her blonde hair behind her ears.

"Fine, I didn't need you anyway" she hissed and rushed out the door. Dean sighed loudly and sank to the floor, whiskey bottle in his hands. He wasn't crying, just upset at the fact that the love of his life had walked out that door. As the night dragged on, empty bottles surrounded Dean, scattered at his feet and sides, pounding another down carelessly. He felt for the box in his coat pocket, taking it out and removing the ring. Twice attempted, he managed to pick himself up to his feet and steadily walked out to the terrace that overlooked the snowy and light-filled streets of New York City. He set his hands on the rails and looked down at the cars and city lights. He toyed with the ring in his hands, observing how it shone in light, how beautiful it was, but how ugly it looked not hugging Jo's finger. He grew tense and clenched his teeth. He squeezed the ring tight and threw it over the ledge, watching it as much as he could until he lost sight of it. He dropped his head to the rail, gripping it tight and sucked in his breath, holding his tears. From a distance, he heard his phone ring and he thought it was Jo, so he let it ring, but it didn't stop. It kept ringing and ringing as if the person on the other line kept calling and calling. Annoyed, he walked over to his phone and saw that it was his little brother, Sam calling.

"H-hello?" he sniffed, wiping tears from his cheeks anxiously.

"What happened Dean?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean  _what do I mean_ , I'm asking what happened between you and Jo?"

"H-how do you know Sam?"

"She texted Jess"

"Are you fu-, I caught her cheating on me today"

"I'm..I'm sorry man do you need me over?"

"No Sammy, I think I'll be okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah man"

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Sam I-"

"How about over a cup of coffee tomorrow, down at that coffee shop on Main Street?"

"Fine" Dean rolled his eyes.

"Okay, I'll be there at 8, bye"

"bye." Dean dropped his head back and sighed, undoing his scarf that had still hugged his neck tight. Walking down the hall, he shut the lights off and continued to undress himself, throwing his clothes in the bin next to his bed. Windows were in place of walls, long, wall-height windows replaced the walls and gave Dean an absolute view of New York City. The high rise building provided a beauiful sight to wake up to in the mornings. Usually, he left the curtains open, the lights and sounds of the cars helped him fall asleep, but not tonight. He shut them angrily and plopped himself on his bed, covering himself quickly and drifting off to sleep. He often woke in the middle of the night when he turned to the side, hugging the air and realizing Jo wasn't or never will be there again. He'd get up and mix himself a drink at 2am and step out on the tearrace, lighting a cigarrette and staring at the busy streets. The city that never slept kept him awake too, watching TV and removing Jo's pictures from his work desk and shelves.

He woke on the couch in the morning, empty flask in his hand. He looked at the clock that had read 7:47 AM and fell off the couch anxiously. He cursed throughout the house as he looked for clothes to throw on, wrapping his scarf around his neck and rushing out the door. He hurried through the thick snow, down to Main Street, pushing through the crowd of people trying to get on with their morning. He spotted Sam inside and walked through the doors at 8:03.

"You're late" Sam smiled, handing him a cup of coffee. Dean removed his scarf and tried catching his breath.

"Yeah" he laughed subtly, mixing his coffee and tasing the aroma of the steam. He looked around the shop curiously as he sipped on his coffee.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened?" asked Sam, biting into his bagel.

"Sam," he licked his lips, thinking of what to say, "I was gonna propose to her. I walked home from work, bought her some of her favorite flowers, lilies by the way, tried surprising her then I find her on top of some, I don't know, weird dude" he explained furiously, stumbling upon his words.

"What a bitch" Sam added, sipping his coffee slowly.

"Yeah" Dean nodded, clenching his coffee cup tight. They sat there for a while, Sam working on a paper on his laptop for college as Dean taunted him and his 'smartness'. He observed the other customers in the spacious coffeeshop, eyes on one of them inparticularly. He studied the way he read his book, his glasses pressed against his nose, he looked intellectually posh and preppy with his Apple laptop next to him and tall cup of coffee in one hand. His hair was spiked up and messy all around, some strands fell on his forehead and lazily rested on his ear. Sam met Dean's gaze and looked over at the guy who sat so sophisticated in his seat.

"That's Castiel" Sam told him, getting Dean to look back at him.

"Who?" asked Dean who didn't hear him, sipping his coffee again.

"Castiel" Sam repeated, "smartest year 8 at Cornell Univeristy."

"Oh he's a college student, 8 years there too?" asked Dean, staring uncontrollably at him.

"Yeah, I have him for a class that's mixed with all age levels, he's really quiet, but when he talks, man I don't know it's like you're talking to a damn human computer or like Albert Einstein or something, he's  _really_ smart."

"Really?" Dean asked rhetorically, sipping his coffee and looking at him again.

"Y-eah" Sam smirked, confused as to why Dean had a big grin on his face whenever he looked over at Castiel. "We call him Cas."

" _We?_ " Dean asked, "you talk to him?"

Sam laughed, almost spitting his coffee out of his mouth as if Dean had just said something comical, "he doesn't talk to anyone. If you met him, you'd probably think he's mute."

"Oh" Dean raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders, staring at Castiel again.

"Dude stop staring at him, it's weird" Sam said, puzzled.

"Sorry, he just looks...interesting" Dean said and glanced at him once more, finishing his coffee.

"I heard he's gay" Sam whispered across the table, glancing back at him, "heard he had sex with some other guy named Balthazar or something, who goes to our school but denies it to his grave."

"Wow" Dean answered, staring at Sam as he told his story.

"Crazy stuff right?" asked Sam, sitting back properly in his chair.

"Totally" Dean nodded, subtly looking at Castiel who was now typing on his laptop.

"Well I've gotta get to class" Sam said, packing his laptop in his bag and gathering his trash to throw away.

"Want me to walk you? Like I used to walk you to school?" Dean smiled.

"Nah man," Sam laughed, "I'll call you later, bye!" he exclaimed as he rushed through the door. Dean waved and watched Sam run down the street through the shop window. From the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel get up from his chair and gather his things. He stared obviously at him, clueless to the smile that grew across his face whenever he looked at him. Castiel noticed his stare, glancing at Dean quickly, then back at his things. He walked out, dropping something on the floor, not noticing. Dean rushed to it, it was his driver's license. It read ' _Castiel Novak'_ He stared at his quirky picture, he noticed he had bright blue eyes that made him look as innocent as any child with that sweet of a face.

"Hey!" Dean shouted as he made his way through the door quickly, "Hey! Castiel!" But he didn't look back, he kept walking through the snow, laptop bag over his head. Dean followed him the whole way till Castiel unexpectedly entered the high-rise building that he had lived in. Confused, he walked in and met him in an elevator. "You.." he tried catching his breath, "you dropped this at the shop" he said, handing him his license as he took it from Dean.

"Thank you" he nodded and stared at the elevator lights up top. Dean smiled and stared at him, oblivious of his blank stare and not knowing that he had licked his lips. "You need to get to the bottom floor?" asked Castiel.

"Oh me? No I...I live here" Dean said, smiling back. Castiel faked a smile uncomfortably. "You live here too?"

"That's why I'm in the elevator to go up to my loft" Cas said, tapping his foot impatiently waiting to reach his floor.

"Right" Dean nodded stupidly and pressed the button to the 32nd floor, remembering if you press a button after the first person had, it'll take you there first. "Shit, I'm so sorry" he laughed and looked at Castiel who wasn't laughing back. Castiel subtly rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning against the elevator wall. The elevator dinged and Dean stepped out, turning back to Castiel and waved.

"Thanks for giving me my license back" Castiel told him, looking up at him with a quirky smile as the doors closed. The last thing Dean saw was his smile and it oddly sent a chill through his body, it made him tense up and his body grew warm all of a sudden. He became puzzled as to why he was staring at the elevator door and walked back to his house. 

The rest of the day he watched baseball on his flatscreen, relaxed as he sipped on some red wine. Oddly enough, he enjoyed the silence of his own house. He missed Jo he'd admit, he missed her a lot and his heart ached at the thought of her. She'd been texting him all day. He was unsure as to whether she was mad or wanted him back by the look of her texts. He often read them and laughed to himself at how pathetic she sounded, witty excuses trying to cover up for her wrong doing. That night, he invited Sam and his girlfriend, Jess over for dinner and they ate lasagna, a dish Jo had taught Dean to cook. Sam and Jess tried to make Dean feel better by not bringing up past memories of her by re-telling cheesy family stories, or stories of when they were in high school. It seemed to do the trick and Dean even ended up blocking her number from his phone. When Sam and Jess left, he crawled into bed and flipped through the TV channels, he left the curtains open too. With the TV on, he was distracted by the smile Castiel had given him earlier replaying in his head. The way it was an effortless smile, he didn't even try, his face kind of just, smiled. He noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses and his blue eyes stood out with the help of his green plaid shirt and dark grey jeans. Sudden chills ran through his body and his stomach grew warm. He tried to snap out of it but it was too late, he grew erect at the thought of another man, and that creeped him out a little bit. He tried to think it away but it just wouldn't calm down. Unwillingly, he did what he had to do and fell asleep.

The next morning, the sun shone on his pale skin, it intensified his bone structure and the sun in his face woke him slowly. The first thing he did was check his phone which had a text message from Sam.

 _Coffee Shop again? Me, you, and Jess? We're here, come on down!_   it read and Dean eagerly got up to dress himself. He was hoping to see a certain someone there.


	2. Power Outage

Dean made his way out the door and stepped in the empty elevator, checking his emails on his phone while the elevator stopped on floor 26. To his surprise, it was Castiel with his backpack and a book in his hand. With that quirky smile again, he shyly stepped in and stood a fair distance from Dean.

"Morning" Dean smiled uncomfortably as he fixed his coat nervously. Castiel nodded his head with his smile and tapped the button for the bottom floor. "Coffee shop?" Dean asked curiously while the elevator slowly descended.

"Yup" Castiel said and tapped his foot rapidly.

"What a coincidence, I'm going down there too" Dean laughed awkwardly, placing his hands together in front of his lower stomach, balancing on the balls of his feet.

"Ye-eah" Castiel mumurred, "with your partner?"

"My p-" Dean busted up, holding his stomach sarcastically as he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Castiel asked, staring at Dean's awkward  position.

"That's my brother" Dean answered in a high pitched voice as he caught his breath from laughing.

"Oh, my mistake" Castiel said as he fixed his backpack over one shoulder and walked out.

"Nah it's cool man, I get that a lot for some reason" Dean smirked, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder. he looked at Dean, then at his shoulder, then made a disturbing intent look on his face and picked up his pace. "Sorry" Dean admitted, turning red.

"Um, don't apologize" Castiel said, picking up his heavy feet as they manuveured through inches of snow.

"What about this weather?" Dean laughed, looking at Castiel.

"Proposterous" Castiel grunted, finally making his way onto the sidewalk where the snow wasn't as high.

"Definitely" Dean agreed, catching up to him. They walked silently to the coffee shop, Castiel often rolling his eyes when Dean tried catching up to him. Dean was oblivious to his rude gestures and intents, rather, he took his answers as friendly and enthusiastic. When they stepped through the doors of the shop, it had been full and almost overflowing. Dean spotted Sam and Jess who already had a coffee waiting for him.

"Catch ya 'round?" Dean suggested, holding his hand out to Castiel. He looked at it and sighed internally, finally glad that he'd be getting rid of him and he shook it, nodding his head and smiling, the same he way he smiled in the elevator yesterday.

"You were talking to Castiel?" Sam asked, surprised as Dean sat in his chair and smiled politely at Jess.

"Oh, yeah, _him,_ " Dean smirked to himself, cheeks flushed red and his dimples indented perfectly.

"What about him?" Sam asked.

"Well, when you left yesterday, he dropped his license, so I picked it up and followed him to his house, don't take that in the wrong way, apparently he _lives_  in the same high-rise as me, and well I returned it" Dean's mouth curved ear to ear and he sipped on his coffee slowly.

Sam laughed silently, "and what about today?"

"Well I was in the elevator and it stopped on his floor and he popped in and coincidentally, we ended up coming here, and get this, he thought you were my... _partner_ " he squealed and Jess giggled, nudging the blushing Sam in the arm playfully.

"Wow, so he thinks _I'm_  gay too" Sam added, looking around for Castiel who was in line to order coffee.

"Nooo, but he's a nice guy, don't see why you aren't friends with him."

"Only because he's like 4 years older than me" Sam mentioned.

"And? Dude some of our friends are old enough to be our dads."

"True" Sam shrugged and wrapped an am around Jess.

They sat and talked for a while, laughing and upsetting people around who were waiting for empty tables. As they conspired over coffee and bagels, Dean noticed Castiel looking around for an empty table. 

"I'll be back" Dean said and stood up to walk over to him. "Hey" Dean smiled. Castiel sucked his teeth internally and nodded.

"Hello"

"Need a place to sit?" Dean asked, motioning over to the empty seat at their table

_"The hell is he doing?" Sam asked Jess as he observed his brother._

"Oh well, no it's ok-" Castiel feigned a smile as he tried walking away.

"Nonsense! Come on over man, empty seat, and you don't have one, you're smart, do the math" Castiel rolled his eyes and gave in, walking awkwardly over with Dean and sat down.

"Castiel" Sam nodded, puzzled as he furled his brows at Dean. He shrugged back at Sam and sat in his chair with a grin on his face.

"Hello Sam" he nodded back, "Jess" and she nodded back with a subtle smile on her face as she observed his perky cuteness. He sat awkwardly and uncomfortably in his chair as he opened his book carelessly. Dean caught himself staring at him, the way he sat so non-chalantly, his baby blue sweater sleeves curled over his hands, one resting on his cheek. He had put his glasses on to read and it brought out the deep blueness of his eyes. His hair seemed damp, as if he'd just gotten out of the shower. It was sleek and shiny from the water, some specks of snow still rested softly in between strands and Dean's heart fluttered. At times, he thought it was disconcerting how he felt about Castiel, he couldn't quite put a finger on it, but a feeling he'd never had before was definitely there. Dean parted his lips, letting short, delayed breaths breathe through them and was caught off guard by Sam clearing his throat. he glanced at him and he looked confused and disturbed, for he'd noticed the way Dean was staring at this man.

"So Castiel" Dean cleared his throat as if nothing had happened, "what book are you reading?"

Castiel sighed, and closed his eyes subtly, closing the book, greatly perturbed, " _Atlas Shrugged 2_ " he answered, faking his smile as he took his glasses off and wiped them on his shirt.

"Never read it" Dean laughed and shook his head. Castiel nodded, annoyed and not wanting to be there, but also not wanting to be rude (more than he already was), so he stayed and obviously faked a smile, sitting there, curled sleeves cupped around his steaming coffee cup.

"Well Jess and I have class to get to, right babe?" he asked, awkwardly getting up from his chair and helping Jess.

"Oh, okay, see you later then" Dean waved as they walked out. Castiel got up and moved across the table, opening his book again.

"You got school today too?" Dean questioned, sipping his coffee.

"No" he mumbled behind his book.

"You come here every day?"

"Yes" Castiel sighed, closing his book once again and waiting for the conversation to advance.

"Me too" Dean smiled behind his coffee cup and Castiel surprisingly let out a genuine laugh. "What?" asked Dean.

 "Nothing, it's just...you _don't_ come here everyday" he laughed again, drinking his cofee to cover up his smile.

"Sure I do" Dean answered, copying him to the tee.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, "I come here everyday and I've  _never_ seen you here. I've seen Sam and Jess here often, I've never seen  _you_ though, maybe once, with some blonde girl and that's all. You're not a regular that's for sure."

"Okay, you got me" Dean gestured, laughing in embarrassment.

"And I've gotta ask, why are you being so polite to me?"

"Well would you rather me treat you like a douchebag?"

"No, I just want to know why you continued to converse with me even after you gave me my license back."

"Well, that's how friendships start Castiel" he smiled.

"Okay, um...gosh, what's your name?"

"Dean" he said, "Dean Winchester."

"De-ean?" Castiel laughed, "how generic."

"And Castiel?" Dean scoffed jokingly.

"I don't know who named me" he responded with a frown that suddenly turned into an adorable half smile that sent chills through Dean's body. "I was adopted" he added, pressing his lips together and nodding with his cup in his hand.

"Sorry man."

"Don't apologize" he insisted.

"So, Castiel, what do you do?"

"Me? Nothing, I stay home and read, or I come here and read, I like to write poetry too, and in my free time, I play video games, on the side of college."

"Oh, you're one of  _those_ guys huh" Dean jerked his head.

"Yeah, and you? What do you do?"

"I own a business down the street, Winchester and Sons, it's a family business, private" he added, smiling after.

"Oh" Castiel said, "and you own that big penthouse upstatirs don't you?"

"Sure do" Dean smiled confidently, "and if you don't do anything for a living, how do you afford to live in one of those nice lofts and go to Cornell University?"

Castiel laughed and shook his head, "I get asked this all the time, but inheritance. My very rich step-grandfather passed away and I was his only grandson so, I got a big chunk of his money. I'm very conservative with it too, I got a scholatship here so I don't pay for school."

"Conservative? With your Apple laptop and what, Calvin Klein apparel?" Dean joked.

"Not Calvin Klein, it's from a retail store, and the Apple computer? It was my brother's, I'm telling you I hardly buy anything" he laughed back.

"Just coffee everyday" said Dean, staring at Castiel's plump lips rest on the edge of his cofee cup as he sipped on it. He licked his lips and took a subtle deep breath and met his stare.

"What?" asked Castiel, confused.

"Oh, nothing" Dean said, wiping away his smile and looking away, blushing.

"Well then, I've gotta get home" he said, packing his laptop in his backpack.

"No school?"

"Nah, not till tomorrow morning, figured I'd go home and play some Spyro before I sleep" he added as he threw away his cup.

"Spyro?" Dean followed him outside with his hands in his pockets, listening intently.

"Yeah" Castiel murmurred, fixing his grey wool scarf around his neck, "it's an action, dragon-fantasy game, it's fun, you don't play video games?"

"Not since I was like, 20" he answered, trying to keep up with his fast pace.

"Wow, you should, you should come over and play sometime" he smiled to himself as he walked through the snow.

"Ah man, I don't know" he replied, inhaling the cold air while they walked through the busy streets and back on the sidewalk.

"Well, it's okay, you should check it out sometime though" Castiel said, shaking his hair of snow and walking into the building while Dean opened the door for him. "Thanks" he mumbled.

"I'll think about it" he smiled, "you watch sports?"

"Oh god no" he scoffed, pressing the button to call the elevator.

"Well I'll go play some Styro with you one day if you come over, have a beer, and watch some ball with me" Dean suggested.

Castiel started laughing as they walked in the elevator together, "First, it's SPYro, and okay, sounds like a deal."

"Tomorrow?" Dean asked.

"Sure, when I get home from class" he added, "and will I see you at the coffee shop tomorrow?"

"Of course" Dean nodded, "I don't think Sam will be there though, he's got an early class tomorrow."

"Oh it's okay, that's fine" he grinned to himself as the bell dinged for his floor," 8 O'clock."

"I'll be here" Dean smirked and watched Castiel leave, smiling and waving as the doors shut slowly, his smile being the last thing he saw of him again.

That night, the rain and winds picked up, causing a power outage throughout the whole building. Dean lit candles around his place, opening up his laptop and doing some work at home, snacking on some chips until he heard a knock at his door. Sighing, he walked over to the door and opened it to find a shivering Castiel in front of him.

"Castiel?" he asked, surprised.

"Hello Dean," he shivered, "may I please come in?"

"Sure" he said, moving out of the way so he could come in. "Power's out in your place too?"

"Yeah, and it's really cold, luckily you have some warmth here" he said, sitting on the couch, "is it okay if I sit here, at least until the power is back on?"

"Absolutely, I'm sorry it's kinda boring here" Dean said, fixing his hands in his pockets.

"No, it's fine, I'm sorry to bother" he said.

"Don't worry, don't apologize" Dean smiled, but Castiel didn't see him in the darkness. "You cold man?"

"Yeah, just a bit" he laughed subtly, hugging himself to keep warm.

"I'll start the fireplace then" Dean said. What Sam had told him about Castiel seemed completely wrong. Except for the gay part, he's sure Castiel was gay. He just didn't seem too keen on how he was shy and not talkative. It seemed to him Castiel was the complete opposite, sure at first he came off as a stuck up douchebag, but now he came off as a nice and misunderstood college guy. He kneeled and fixed around the logs in the fireplace, starting a small fire and sitting by it. "Here, come over here, it's really warm." Castiel listened and crawled over, fixing his sleeves over his hands and hugging his knees. He sat across from Dean and stared at him for a bit until he shyed away and looked at the rustling flames. 

"Wine? Beer?" Dean offered, standing up and walking to the bar.

"Sure, I'll take some wine" he smiled, rocking back and forth on his butt, hugging his knees and listening to the cracking of the fire. Dean came back with 2 tall wine glasses, handing one to him as he sat down in the same spot.

"Thanks Dean" he said and stirred it calmly. Outside, the rain stabbered against the windows and the winds shook the building. "You've got a nice place" he said.

"Thanks, I'm proud of it" Dean smiled, looking around and acknowledging his compliment.

"I've gotta ask you something" Castiel said, taking one last sip of his wine before setting it on the ledge of the fireplace.

"Shoot" Dean nodded and tilted his glass towards him.

"Are you...and don't get offended, I'm just wondering out of curiosity, are you gay?" he asked, looking up from his tilted head. Dean almost spit his red wine out on the white carpet but caught himself.

"Why would you think that?" he laughed, wiping the corners of his mouth. 

Castiel, offended, shrugged his shoulders, "I just thought you were, you're extremely nice to me, I don't know, I'm sorry."

"Well don't be sorry" Dean said and finished his wine, "it's an honest assumption."

"Do you even know if you're straight?" Castiel laughed, resting his chin on his arms that hugged his knees.

"Wh-what do you mean do I even know if I'm straight or not? Of course I am" Dean laughed, cheeks flushing red and sweat forming on his forehead.

"Yes, because wine by a fireplace in the dark with another dude is _so_  straight" he chuckled, sipping the last of his wine before setting it back down.

"What are you trying to say?" Dean asked sternly as he watched Castiel crawl over to him slowly.

"I don't know" he smiled, inches away from Dean's face, on all fours, fists pressed into the soft, white carpet.

"C-astiel" Dean whispered, looking down at his lips and licking his own. Without notice, Castiel pressed his lips against Dean's and moved them accordingly, leading Dean. He crawled forward, chest brushing against Dean's knees that were bent and limp. Dean hadn't moved an inch, he sat there and let it happen, lips moving with Castiel's. When he began to enjoy it, Castiel slipped his tongue between their lips, intertwining with his and feeling around the soft and moist inside of his cheeks. His body grew warm again and he struggled to put his empty wine glass on the ledge of the fireplace as he was gently pushed down to have Castiel fall on top of him. He held on to Castiel's shirt tight and felt the smoothness of his face against his own stubble. Castiel let go and exhaled, raising up from Dean's embrace, fixing his shirt and glasses.

"Why'd you stop?" asked Dean with his eyes closed.

"Are you gay or not?" Castiel laughed.

Dean sighed and picked himself up to sit on his bottom again and rested his arms over curled up knees, "Maybe" he answered.

"Maybe?" Castiel emphasized, scooting closer to Dean again. "Do I have to kiss you again to make up your mind?"

Dean smiled suggestively, raising a brow as he looked up from his sunken head. Castiel took that as a yes and threw himself on top of Dean, kissing him more aggressively this time, grunting and making his way to Dean's neck effortlessly as Dean sighed and breathed heavily, stroking Castiel's back and gripping his black hair. Pulling away, Castiel ripped his own shirt off, straddling Dean, and moved back down to his lips, pushing his tongue through and twisted and twirled with Dean's.

"You gay?" Castiel whispered between kisses, inhaling the scent of Dean's wine-flavored breath.

"I don't know" Dean answered, pulling Castiel's head back down to his, latching onto his lips and biting his bottom one. Castiel pulled away aggressively, sliding down to Dean's jeans, undoing the button and zipper.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked trying to catch his breath.

"Gonna make sure you're gay" Castiel smiled, playing with the elastic of Dean's briefs until he pulled them down and set out his large and hard cock. "I made you hard, you're so gay" he laughed, instantly wrapping his lips around the circumfrence of the head, taking it as far as he could. Dean let out a sound he never thought he'd make at the touch of another man, clenching onto the soft, fuzzy carpet, arching his back up only to be pushed down by Castiel.

"I'm gay, I'm gay" Dean moaned, pushing Castiel's head deeper. Although a man was sucking him off, he still knew the ways of sex, lots of practice with Jo and other women from younger times, talking dirty. He'd never made much noise in bed and he found it ironic that he was this time, it amazed him how another dude could make him feel this way, definitely a feeling a woman had never pleased him with, and he liked it it. A lot. He calmed himself and let Castiel do the work, jerking and sucking, his mouth making slurps and unusual noises after every suck and lick. Waves of ecstacy drove down Dean's spine, making him pant and beg for more. Castiel laughed to himself, pushing Dean's body back down whenever he tried to arch up. Dean's heavy breaths grew delayed and louder, his stomach waved with no rythym, hinting he was ready to come at any time. Castiel jerked him hastly, circling and opening his palms repeatitively, pleasuring Dean more than he bargained for as he came and lathered Castiel's hand and his own stomach. Dean shrieked and grabbed his own cock, stroking it slowly, yet hard, letting every last bit out. He layed there, Castiel sucking on his chest and collar bones, inhaling upon it, making his skin moist from his breaths, making his way up to his neck, then to his lips.

"You're so gay" he whispered, laughing against Dean's lips, and kissed the corner of his mouth. Dean laughed in approval, catching the last of his breath as the fire died out beside them. They lay there in the darkness as the candles had burnt out or grew dim.

"Maybe, I like guys" he breathed loudly, looking into Castiel's eyes.

"Do I really have to do this again?" he laughed, stroking Dean's chin with the softness of his thumb, feeling the stubble surrounding.

"I wouldn't mind" he laughed, "but seriously, maybe I like... _both_ " he shrugged, turning to his side and resting on one elbow, cheek pressed into his fist as he stroked Castiel's bare back.

"Well that's understandable" he nodded.

"To be fairly honest, I was gonna ask a girl to marry me 2 days ago" he admitted, looking down at the carpet, trying not to show his emotions.

"2 days ago? Well you move on quickly" he laughed, "I'm sorry it didn't work out though." Dean waved his hand as if he didn't care.

"Nah man, she wasn't worth it" he smiled and they stared at each other for a while until the lights flashed a couple times and stayed on.

"Power's on" Castiel noticed, getting up and putting his wrinkled shirt back on.

"Bummer" Dean laughed, getting up and walking to the light switches.

"What are you doing?" he asked him.

"I liked it when it was dark" Dean smiled, switching them off and walking to Castiel, taking him by the arm and walked to his room. Castiel didn't hesitate and proceeded down the dark hallway, griping Dean's hand tight. Dean pulled him close and they made their way to the bed, Castiel falling on him when Dean's head hit the pillow. Their lips met and Castiel slid his tongue forcefully through, tugging at Dean's hair. He pushed up on his bare chest, sliding his pants down then meeting his lips again. A melody began to play from down the hallway and Dean pushed Castiel up politely.

"Come on, ignore it" Castiel whispered in Dean's ear, nibbling on the tip.

"Castiel, I've gotta get it, it might be Sam" he whispered back, pushing up again only to be pushed down.

"Just, leave it alone" he smiled against his lips.

"Come on Castiel, let me go"

"Fine" he scoffed, rising to his feet and letting Dean go get his ringing phone. A few moments later, Dean came back and sat next to him, rubbing his back slowly, meeting his lips.

"Castiel" Dean murmurred in bewtween kisses, stopping him by holding his cheeks.

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked, staring at his lips.

"Sam's coming over" he said and Castiel let go, frowning.

"Well okay, I'll head home" he replied, getting up and putting his jeans back on.

"Whoa, I never asked you to leave" Dean grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close. Castiel sighed, emitting his rude attitude from the first time Dean met him.

"Yeah but, I wanna go home now, got an exam to study for" he insisted, walking out of the room to get his phone and shoes.

"Aw c'mon, really?" Dean cried, furling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'll see you around" he told him, turning the knob of the front door.

"Let me walk you" Dean suggested and Castiel rolled his eyes, Dean finally noticed his rude gesture and stopped him from exiting.

"What's your problem?" Dean asked, shutting the door with his heavy palm and Castiel jolted back, hitting the wall.

"N-nothing, I just wanna go home"

"Oh really? Because 10 minutes ago you were all over me."

"Yeah, well now your brother is coming over and it'll be awkward, Dean can I just go home, I'll come over tomorrow." Dean, suddenly regretting putting Castiel in this position, nodded.

"Fine, I'm sorry" Dean mumbled. Castiel sighed again, looking down at his feet.

"What's the matter?" Dean asked, raising his chin with his thumb, looking in his eyes.

"Nothing" he sighed, playing with Dean's loose button-up shirt.

"Tell me, I know something's wrong" he said, "something I did? Something I said?"

"Not  _you_ " he hinted.

"Not  _me?_ Then who?" Castiel looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Who?"

"Sam" Castiel whispered.

"Sam? You don't even talk to Sam, and he's like 4 years younger than you" Dean told him.

"Doesn't mean he can't be..mean"

"Mean? Sammy?" Dean laughed, "no way."

"Okay then, you don't know a thing about your own brother, bye" he said and tried to leave only to be pulled back again.

"Fine, tell me"

Castiel sighed in regret, licked his lips and struggled to form his words, "he spread rumors around that I'm gay,  _which_ is true, but he still spread them around, and now everyone pretty much makes fun of me, including him, they even say I gave some guy an STD, which is not true at all because I've tested and I'm clean."

"Sam...he did this?" Dean's eyes widened in disbelief. Castiel nodded. "I can't believe that, I..I'm so sorry.."

"Now you understand why I wanna go?"

"Yeah, yeah I do, you can go, I'll..I'll talk to him"

"Walk me, please" Castiel begged, tugging on Dean's shirt, pulling him closer so he could kiss his lips.

"Of course" Dean smiled, resting his motionless lips on his.

 Dean took him by his hand and led him out to the hallway as they kissed until the elevator arrived.

"When can I see you again?" Dean asked, forcing him against the elevator wall while the doors shut, kissing his eager lips and biting them.

"To-morrow" he smiled, inhaling Dean's breath and pulling him by his shirt, bringing him closer.

"When tomorrow?"

"I don't know" he laughed quietly, pushing a different button on the elevator so he could have more time with Dean. "I'll come at any time how about that?"

"Don't do this to me" Dean smiled, lips brushing Castiel's nose, "I  _need_ to see you again, and what if you come and I"m not home?"

"I'll leave a note" Castiel smiled, closing his eyelids gently, waiting for the feeling of Dean's soft lips on his.

"No, let's go to the coffe shop tomorrow morning" he grinned, "I'll buy you something, we'll talk."

"De-ean, I have school" he laughed as the elevator stopped on his floor.

"When?"

"10 AM"

"We have time" Dean kissed him once more, letting him go and walking out to the door of his apartment.

"I'll come get you at 8, okay?" Castiel caved in, he couldn't resist Dean's smiles and seductive gestures.

"I'll see you" he kissed him again, grabbing onto his arms.

"Okay Dean!" Castiel laughed, trying to set himself free. He tried closing the door but Dean stopped it with his fierce palm.

"I can't wait for tomorrow" he smiled shyly, playing with Castiel's shirt.

"Me too Dean" he smiled back, leaning in for another kiss. Dean took his offer and pressed his lips against Castiel's, slipping his tongue through gently and slowly and soon his hands were around his waist. "Im gonna go now" he whispered upon Dean's lips.

"Okay" Dean smiled, letting Castiel take his lips off of him, eyes still closed.

"See you tomorrow, bye" he smiled, closing the door, and his smile was the last thing he saw of Castiel that night as he went back to house and waited for Sam.

When same came, he was alone and ready to watch a Yankee game with him.

"Ready to watch the game?" Sam asked cheerfully, placing a beer down and getting comfortable.

"Actually no" Dean said and crossed his arms as he stood on the other side of the living room.

"What? That's what I came over for" Sam exclaimed.

"Well I have to talk to you about something" he said, turning the TV off and sitting on the coffee table in front of Sam. His hands were folded and placed on his knees.

"What is it?"

"I had a talk with Castiel" he answered, raising his brow, suggesting Sam confess to his actions before he had to remind him.

"And?"

" _And?_ And you're fucking spreading rumors about him!" he shouted.

"It's not a rumor if it's true!" Sam shouted back with a smirk on his face.

"Telling everyone you know he gave someone an STD when he's clean is true?"

"Okay, maybe that was a bit ha-wait how do you know this?" he asked, catching himself.

"I told you, Castiel and I talked this morning" he said, scratching his head and looking away, trying not to make it too obvious that he had seen him about an hour ago, and not to mention,  _touched him_.

"I don't know, it was funny at the time okay" Sam shrugged, feeling honestly remorseful.

"You need to apologize to him" Dean told him, getting up to get a beer for himself. 

"What!?" 

"I  _said_ you need to apologize to him, he's a...great guy" he smiled to himself so Sam wouldn't see, "and he doesn't deserve this."

"No, no way" Sam shook his head, standing to his feet to gather his things. As he grabbed his car keys, he noticed a pair of glasses and an empty wine glass on the fireplace ledge. "You don't wear glasses, Castiel does" he murmurred, squinting his eyes in curiosity as he walked to them.

"Oh, well, he-"

"He came over didn't he?"

"Sammy don't be rediculous-"

"He came over,  _didn't_ he?" he repeated with a disconcerted smirk.

"Okay he came over!" Dean admitted, wiping nervous sweat from his forehead and rubbing his palms on the surface of his jeans.

"You have a thing for him, don't you Dean?"

"What? Sammy come on!" Dean laughed, covering up for himself terribly.

"You do! that explains all your awkward smiles and stares at the coffee shop, the reason you're even telling me what he told you, you  _like_ Castiel" he smirked, disgusted.

"Okay! So what if I do? Gonna go spread rumors about me too?" Sam scoffed, shaking his head and placing the glasses down, cracking the lens. "What's you problem? Homophobic?"

"No, it's just, you just got out of a relationship with Jo and...it's  _Castiel_ dude" he said, "that's wrong."

"How is it wrong?"

"I don't know man, I'm gonna go"

"Sam, stay, we're gonna watch the game."

"I don't know, I'll call you tomorrow" he said, and left out the door. Dean flared his nostrils and slammed his palms into the counters. Walking to the couch, turning the TV on to the game, and kicking his feet up on the coffee table, the only thing on his mind was seeing Castiel tomorrow.


	3. Things Are Said In The Heat Of A Moment

Dean woke at the sound of a knock on his door, completely forgetting about his date, well, it wasn't a date, but he thought of it as one, walked over to it and opened it to see an eager, fresh-out-the-shower Castiel. He noticed Dean wasn't ready and laughed in disblelief.

"Oh shit, Castiel I'm so sorry" Dean murmurred in a groggy voice, rubbing his chest as he yawned loudly, "come in while I get ready."

"Alright Dean" he laughed to himself, standing with his hands in his pockets, studying the living room closely, interested in every framed artpiece on the walls, family pictures and achievements. "Hey, Dean!" he shouted as he walked over to one picture inparticular.

"What is it?" he asked, fixing a shirt over him as he stood behind Castiel.

"Is this your dad?" he asked, picking up the frame to study it closer, squinting his eyes and looking at Dean.

Dean sighed and looked away, "yeah."

"Should we not talk about it?" he asked, placing it down and concerned he hit one of Dean's sensitive nerves.

"Not to be rude Castiel, but no we shouldn't talk about it, we can, but I don't want to" he said, walking over to his coat rack and picking one to throw on.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apolgize" Dean smiled, walking slowly to him with his arms at waist-height, open and ready for his embrace. Castiel half-smiled and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, kissing it softly and inhaling the scent of his fresh cologne. 

"Let's go" he whispered upon his skin, kissing him one last time and Dean took his hand, leading the way out to the elevator, routinely making out inside, pressing buttons to buy more time together, hoping people wouldn't come in and ruin their fun. By the time they actually made it to the bottom floor, Catsiel's hair was messy and his coat was wrinkled as well as Dean's, fixing the buttons on his coat as they walked out the door.

They arrived and had their coffee, sitting in a secluded area that gave a great view of the busy streets, playing footsies under the table subtly, having staring contests without saying  _Let's have a staring contest_ , biting their lips and laughing when they couldn't take the friction anymore.

"So Castiel-"

"You can call me Cas" he smiled shortly, flahsing his blues at Dean, then sipped on his coffee.

"So _Cas,"_ he laughed _,_ "tell me more about yourself."

"More? I've said what I needed to say, Dean" he smiled, nervously biting the edge of the coffee cup. 

"Tell me more, ple-ease" Dean sang adorably and Cas caved with a sigh.

"Well, as you found out yourself, my name is Catsiel Novak, I just turned 25 on September 18th by the way, I'm adopted, I got a scholarship to Cornell University, I'm gay, and I met this  _really_ hot guy in a coffee shop" he smirked,lips resting on the cup, inhaling the steam.

"Cute" Dean smiled.

"Your turn" he said and raised his cup in notion for Dean to start.

"Noo" he grunted with a feign smile.

"C'mon, you made me do it, so do it" Castiel told him. Dean let out an agonizing  _ugghh_ and proceeded, convinced by Cas' big blue eyes and Castiel laughed.

"Well, I'm Dean Winchester, I'm 28, born and raised in Lawrence, Kansas, moved to New York City when I was 24, the end." Cas rolled his eyes.

"You're missing a huge part in that"

"Oh, and I met this  _really_ cute nerdy asshole in a coffee shop."

Laughing, "jerk, I meant your whole fucking childhood."

"Oh, well I went to school you know, like kids do, had a little brother, momdied" he said too quickly, Cas had to scoot closer to hear.

"What was that last part about your mom?"

"momdied" he mumbled, sipping nervously on his coffee and tugging at his scarf.

"She what?"

"She died, okay?"

"Oh" Cas murmurred, feeling bad for making him repeat that three times, "I apologize."

"No worries Cas" he smirked, frowning again behind his cup.

"I'd love to sit here and chat Dean but, I've got class in 20 minutes."

"Oh yeah,  _that_ ," Dean sighed in disappointment as he offered to throw away Cas' empty cup.

"It's okay, I ca-an come over after?" he asked, wrapping one arm around Dean, resting his head on his fuzzy coat shoulder, holding his hand with the other.

"Sure" Dean smiled, grabbing his hand back, making their way out the shop and down the street. They stopped on the sidewalk and faced each other, standing in a heavy embrace. "I'll see you later then" he looked at Cas, stroking his cheeks with the softness of his thumb.

"Walk me" Cas pleaded, digging his fingers into Dean's neck.

"You sure? You don't care if people see us? What'll they say?" Dean asked, concered.

"I'm sure, I don't care if they see us, for all I care, they can suck my dick."

"You wouldn't mind" Dean laughed and Cas joined in and stopped with a smile.

"Yeah I would, because none of them are you," he said and pulled Dean along the sidewalk and down the street to the front of the campus.

"How far do you want me to take you?" he asked nervously, hoping no one from work would see him, even if he was across town from his job building.

"Whenever you wanna stop walking."

"I'll stop right here" Dean said, coming to a halt and pulling him back with the gentle tug of his arm.

"Okay then" he smiled, inching toward his lips, waiting for a kiss.

"See you" Dean whispered, kissing him smoothly, wrapping his arms around Cas. "What time are you out?"

"1 o'clock"

"Want me to pick you up?"

"No I can walk, I hope lunch is made when I get to your place though" he raised an eyebrow jokingly, then laughing because he can never keep a straight face.

"Turkey or ham?" he asked, playing along and letting go.

"Turkey, on white bread" he smiled, walking away backwards, one arm holstered by a backpack strap.

"I'll make a run down to the store" he shouted, putting his hands in his pockets and watched Cas walk in the campus as a father would watch his son go to class on the first day of school, eyes only on him.

Later that afternoon, Dean made sandwiches for him and Cas, placing them on the table and waiting for him to knock on the door. It was 1:15 as he sat in the chair, sandwich untouched, checking his emails and doing work from home. Minutes passed, he figured Cas stopped somewhere or stayed a couple minutes after class, and he continued to work. Hours passed and he began to wonder, perhaps class was an hour longer, then it became 4 o'clock and he paced his house back and forth, staring at the door. Maybe he forgot? He rushed out and down a few floors by the stairs, banging on his door, but no answer. Frustrated and regretting not asking for his number sooner. He ran back upstairs, hoping Cas would be there with a good explanation, but he wasn't. Rustling through the house, panting frantically, freaking out. He began to shake as he pulled his phone out, wondering if he should call Sam and ask about him when he heard a lazy knock at the door. Without hesitating, he dropped his phone and ran to it. Flinging the door open hastly, Cas, bloody and soaking wet from the sudden deluge, held himself in comfort and fell in Dean's arms.

"Jesus Cas who did this!?" he asked in a panic, carrying him and closing the door. He carried him over to the couch, setting him down and getting a first aid kit from his junk drawer in the kitchen. "Cas?" he asked impatiently. He saw him struggling to talk as tears flowed down his cheeks. "Don't cry don't cry Cas, who did this to you?"

"A guy named Balthazar" he breathed exhausted, holding his gut in agonizing pain.

"Balthazar?" he exclaimed, beginning to breathe heavy. "What he'd do? How'd he do it? Were other people involved? I know his friends, what happened? Tell me!" he panicked, pacing in front of him, scared and frustrated.

"Dean, c-alm down" he exhaled, taking a deep breath and speaking again, "after class, I took a shortcut, one I always take to get home, and they cornered me, Dean I couldn't run away" he grunted.

"Cas" Dean whispered with great remorse, sitting next to him and gently raising him, cradling him in his arms. "I'm so sorry Cas, I'm gonna have a nice little talk with him, don't you cry."

"No Dean, it's okay" he coughed, "really, it is, I'm sure I'll be okay."

"Castiel look at you! You've got a bruise on your face, blood around your nose, now on your shirt, man, your coat is gone, and your backpack...it's tattered, you probably broke something too, and why are you holding your stomach?" he asked, pulling his blood-stained and ripped shirt up, noticing a series of bruises trickling from his breast to his ribcage.

"They wouldn't stop kicking" Cas began to weep, "no one heard me yell, his friend held me down while Balthazar kicked my sides, I felt like I was gonna die right there" he sobbed, tightening his fists around Dean's coat. Dean pressed his nose into his hair, scratching the back of Cas' head softly and rocked him back and forth. "Then they left me there, last thing I remember was them each spitting on me, then I woke up in the alley with my things everywhere, they took my phone, cracked my other pair of glasses, since it was dark, I could barely see, I was so cold..." he continued, taking moments to wipe his tears with his shirt, "I didn't know what to do, I could barely walk."

"How'd you get here?"

"I literally crawled and limped around the building, came through the back way and took the elevator that no one uses."

"Cas, I'm so fucking sorry, I offered to pick you up...."

"I know Dean, don't blame yourself, it's my fault."

"How is it your fault?"

"I'm gay, I had sex with Balthazar my Junior year of college but I broke up with him, and he and Sam spread rumors around that I gave him an STD for not getting back with him and.."

"And what Cas?" he asked with eager eyes.

"And he said he saw us kissing before you left me, I guess he was jealous, I don't know."

"I'm gonna kill him"

"No, you're not, just stay with me and I'll be okay"

"Cas I can't let them get away with this, what about the next time they do this? Tomorrow? Or when you have class again?"

"I'm dropping out of college tomorrow, and you're coming with me"

"Castiel! You're not dropping out of college, what the hell are you thinking?" Dean asked, disconcerted and frustrated with him.

"Yes I am, you can't make me not drop out, it's my choice, I don't want this to continue, I've dealt with it since my Junior year of collge.

"You're almost done with your 8th year, you _need_  to continue and like hell you're just gonna stop."

"Dean, it's my life."

"But I care about you Cas!"

"I know but I want to do this, you barely met me a few days ago and all of a sudden you care about me?" he yelled in pain, instantly regretting it when he saw Dean's face flush pink and his hands grew warm on his skin, "Dean I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize" he said and gently raised to his feet, resting Cas' head on a pillow and walked down the hall.

"Dean please"

"No I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Dean come back" he begged, trying to get up from the couch.

"Just do what you want Cas" he shouted down the hallway as he switched the lights off. Cas struggled to get on his feet but succeeded after a few attempts by holding on to the couch and slowly limping over to the hallway to hold himself up with the walls.

"Dean please" he cried.

"Cas, go lay down, youre hurt"

"Dean I didn't mean it" he pleaded, limping down the hallway like a cripple, one hand holding the wall and the other holding his gut.

"Yes you did, and it's true" he answered, taking his shirt off and tossing it in the bin in his room. Cas continued down the hall until he reached the doorway of Dean's room and slouched against it.

"Dean, please"

"Cas, go back to the couch, lay down, sleep."

"No" he said sternly, tears in his eyes and dried blood around his nose and mouth, "I refuse to go till you forgive me"

"Well stay there forever then" he scolded and sat on the end of his bed, removing his shoes and jeans.

"I guess I'll have to" murmurred.

"Cas you're rediculous, go back to the couch" Dean said as he got up and walked over to him, attempting to pick him up, but Cas refused. "Cas don't do this."

"Let me go!" he shouted, trying to squirm out of Dean's grip, hurting himself even more.

"Cas, do this the easy way, you're hurting yourself!"

"I don't care, forgive me! Let me go!" he yelled as he fell down, making a loud thud against the floor.

"Cas!" Dean shouted, sinking to his knees to aid him.

"Forgive me please" Cas sighed in pain.

"Cas, I forgive you"

"Don't just say it just so I can go back to that couch, please mean it"

"I mean it!"

"Dean" he whispered, "please."

"Cas I forgive you man, I do" he said, propping Cas' head up on his own hand and raising him to his feet.

"Do you?" he asked, inches away from Dean's mouth, breathing into him and licking his own, bloody lips.

"Yes" he whispered, brushing Cas' nose and staring down at his lips. Castiel inched forward, meeting Dean's lips as he held onto his shirt. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas so he wouldn't fall again, making him feel better with his strokes and kisses, slithering his tongue through his mouth, biting down on his lips to make him forget his pain. His bulge rubbed against Cas' tattered jeans, the touch turnig him on as he grew harder with every deep sigh and exhale Cas let out in his mouth. He inhaled the scent of his blood, wiping it away with his thumb, making his way down the back of his pants and creeping under the elastic of his briefs. Cas smirked upon Dean's lips and unbuckled his own pants, knowing Dean was ready for it. He stepped out of them as Dean carried him to the bed. The lights from the city shone on their skin in the darkness of the room, the only thing they saw of each other were the silhouettes of each others' bodies and wherever the light shone on them. He pushed him down, falling on top of Cas' bare chest, sliding up and down, bulges grinding against one others'. Dean put his palm on Cas' bulge, squeezing it tight and making him squirm and moan on the bed. He began to rub it through the thin fabric, cupping the shape of it in his hand. He slid his hand up and underneath the elastic, feeling his warm cock throb. Cas dropped his head back and stared blankly at the ceiling, letting out a much-needed sigh as Dean teased him, not yet pulling his briefs down. Slowly, he inched them down until his cock was free and raised, throbbing and warm in Dean's red hand. He squeezed it, not too tight, but hard enough to make him arch his back up. Slowly, he massaged around the shaft, putting pressure on certain spots, noticing every time Cas moaned and noted where his sensitive spots were, teasing him agonizingly. The friction between the cock and his hand tensed up, growing warm and a flushed red color. Cas' breath grew heavy and his stomach pulsed out of rythym,grunting when it grew too much for him, begging Dean to fuck him. He slid off the bed and pulled Cas towards the edge, placing his face in between Cas' thighs, sucking on them and making his way around his cock, taking it in slowly and all at once. Cas shut his eyes and his fists curled around the blanket as Dean bobbed his head back and forth, wet noises leaving his mouth, hands running up Cas' chest. He stopped and took a moment to catch his breath. He walked over to a shelf on the other side of the room, feeling his bulge, hardened and warm underneath his briefs. He pulled out a bottle from the shelf and walked back to Cas who was already begging him to come back. Pulling down his briefs, he opened the bottle and spread lube around his cock, lathering it in till he could only see the shine of it in the lights.

"Close the curtains, these windows are big and cover your room" Cas sighed, stroking himself calmly.

"No one is gonna see us, we're on the 32nd floor" he smiled, crawling on top of him and bringing his legs up and over his own shoulders. Cas dropped his head back and waited for Dean to enter him. Hesitantly, Dean pushed himself in, making Cas grunt and jolt back. Dean, on his knees, began to thrust slowly, holding on to cas' waist.

"Ah fuck" Cas moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth. This continued for minutes, slow, gentle thrusts of Dean's hips, rocking back and forth in unison while Cas whined and cursed, clenching the blankets tighter as he begged for more. Dean took up to this, placing his hands on Cas' stomach and grinded into him faster, His thighs slapped against Cas' and he grunted with every thrust, Cas holding onto his arms for comfort. Dean, no longer on his knees, but on the balls of his feet, pounded Castiel, making him whimper and cringe.

"St-op!" Cas begged, wanting a moment to catch his breath, and Dean did the second time Cas asked.

"Am I doing it wrong?" Dean gasped.

"No" Cas sighed, pulling away from Dean and getting up.

"Where are you going?" Cas didn't answer, instead, he walked to where Dean was and gently pushed him down on the bed, on all fours. He grabbed the bottle and lathered his throbbing dick with lube. "Cas, no"

"You did fine, but I can do better."

"Cas, I've never had anyone in me."

"That's gonna change" Cas smiled as he moved closer to him, ready to enter.

"Cas no, is it..is it gonna hurt?"

"I promise I won't hurt you" he whispered into Dean's ear, bent over his back, holding onto his cock and waiting for permission to enter.

"Okay" Dean breathed, convinced at the sensation of Cas' breath on his neck. Cas slowly pushed through, holding onto Dean's shoulder and he felt him tense up and he could tell he clenched his teeth by the way he was breathing, nasally and in pain. He thrusted slowly, but hard into him and Dean let go of his clenched teeth, letting out a loud moan that filled the room. It grew darker outside, hard to see but not completely black with the help of some city lights. He held on to both of Dean's shoulders and thrusted faster, thighs banging against Dean's. He breathed too loud and his stomach waved in and out irregularly, his curled fists pressed into the mattress as well as his limp knees. Cas closed his eyes, leaving his mouth open and sighed in pleasure, forgetting about his bruised ribcage and gut, forgetting about the blood trickled on his face. He was sure it'd been gone by now. He sucked air through his teeth, collapsing on top of Dean's bare back, riding him while his face fell to the mattress and he bit the blanket, hoping to releive some of the pain. Cas pulled on to Dean's hair, rasing up and only holding on to his hair, his other hand on the curve of Dean's ass, breathing through his nose, exhaling out his mouth, eyes fierce and eager to pleasure him. Dean's body squirmed about on the bed, hands holding on the edge of the mattress, still biting into the blanket, moaning and grunting like he'd never had before. At this point, there was no more thrusting, their bodies seemed to jump on the bed as Cas rode him, both hands now on the curve of Dean's ass, squeezing into the skin of his cheeks. Their movements halted slowly, Cas dropped to Dean's bare back again, head on Dean's, arms wrapped around his whole body, grinding up and down and inhaling Dean's scent. Their moans ceased and all that echoed troughout the room were soft sighs until they were moving no longer. They closed their eyes together, Cas biting the tip of Dean's ear, laying there for minutes. Cas got off of him and took the used condom off and threw it away, laying back down on the bed. Dean had stayed where he was, catching his breath with his eyes still closed. Cas lay there and watched Dean breathe in and out slowly and stroked his back with the tip of his fingers.

"You okay?" he asked, scooting next to him.

He let out a woosh of air and smiled, "yeah."

"D-id you at least enjoy it?"

"Yeah, I did" he laughed and crawled next to Cas.

"You cry like a baby though" Cas laughed.

"I didn't...cry" Dean smiled embarrassingly.

"Sure you did, or you were whining at least"

"Was not!"

"Shall we do it again?"

"No way man, I can't...I'm hurting at the moment."

"I'm sorry" Cas frowned jokingly, squeezing Dean and resting his head against his chest.

"Come here" Dean grunted playfully, pulling him closer and pulling the blankets up and over their heads. Cas caught his lips and kissed him aggressively, being tickled by him and  pushing him away.

"Stop!" Cas laughed loudly under the covers as Dean pulled him close, kissing him in between laughs and tickles. "Stop Dean" he cackled again, losing his breath.

"Fine!" Dean grinned, wrapping his arms around him and resting his cheek on the top of Cas' head. Cas pressed his nose against Dean's chest and pecked the center of it.

"I'm gonna go home now okay" he whispered upon his skin.

"What? No, stay here" Dean exclaimed, pulling the covers down.

"You sure you want me here?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sure Cas" he smiled,  fixing his messy hair and stroking his cheek with the surface of his palm.

"If you insist" he laughed, falling roughly against the mattress and stared into Dean's glimmering green eyes.

"You're so cute" Dean pouted jokingly, running his hand through Cas' hair and pulled him close.

"You're cuter" he grinned ear to ear, closing his eyes.

"Stoppit" Dean waved his hand, flattered, wrapping his arm around him.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow Dean?"

"Whatever you want."

"I don't know.." he whispered, falling into sleep.

"Think about it" he whispered upon his forehead, gently kissing it after.

* * *

Sun rose  and the windows were wide open. Castiel, used to waking up early, was awake and layed in bed, staring at Dean's sleeping body.  He got up from bed, sitting on the edge and stretching with a silent yawn. Carefully, he walked to his briefs that had been on the floor and fixed them around his waist, walking over to Dean's closet. He crept through it, mistaking it for another room as he walked in, eyes wide and amazed at the size of his closet. He scrimmaged through Dean's drawers until he found a shirt that hadn't looked worn in months, if not, years. It had been a long, wrinkly Metallica shirt, but anything was better than his own torn up and blood stained shirt. He threw it over himself and snuck out into the living room. Curious and nosy, he searched through Dean's movie collection, sitting criss-cross on the floor in front of the cabinet that had all his movies. For a good while, his heart was set on watching Batman, until he found a hidden collection of video games. Smiling, he took the stack out and looked through it until he found his favorite game: _The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past_. He nearly squealed and searched around the room, making sure Dean wasn't there. He licked his lips excitedly and looked for a console everywhere. He tried not to make noise as he lurked through closets and cabinets until he finally found one full of games consoles.

"I knew he played video games" he whispered to himself as he grabbed the SNES from the top shelf, shutting the closet door carefully. He carried it over to the TV and hooked it up, shaking in excitement as he sat on the rug and waited for the game to start. Without knowing the TV had been on full volume,he jolted up, panicking in search for the remote. "Shit!" he shouted in a whisper as the game continued to load, loud music blaring from the surround sound. He finally found the remote and muted it, catching his breath.

"Cas?" Dean's voice emerged  from down the hall.

"Dean!" he exclaimed, holding on to the control.

"Cas why did you go through my stuff?" he laughed, looking at the messy pile of misplaced movies and games.

"I was...bored" he smiled, perky, and innocent.

"And my shirt?"" he giggled.

"Well, I didn't wanna wear my bloody one" he grinned, looking down at his feet, shy and perky.

"It's fine, I see you found my video games" Dean sighed.

"Yeah! You have a lot, I wish I could afford to buy all these games, they're like..collectibles."

"They're all yours" he smiled, raising his arm behind his head and walked towards him.

"Really!?"

"Yeah" he laughed, hugging him tight.

"Thanks Dean" he sighed into his bare chest.

"No problem."

"No seriously Dean," Cas pulled away and looked up at him, "thank you for everything you've done."

"I care about you Castiel" he said.

"I...care about you too" he said, biting his bottom lip and waited for a kiss.

"Let's go down to the coffee shop" Dean whispereed, kissing kiss shortly.

"No, let's stay in today, play video games" he smiled.

"Cas, you know I don't play those, besides, I have work today."

Cas sucked his teeth like a whiny kid and bit Dean's neck. "Ahh Cas" he giggled, inching away.

"Stay ho-ome" he sang, swaying Dean's body side to side, not letting him go when he tried to get away.

"Cas, not to-" he was interrupted by his soft lips pressed against his but he politely pushed away. "Not today Cas."

"Fine" he sighed and plopped on the couch. Dean sat next to him and threw his arm around him.

"I should be home by 2" he whispered in his ear, breathing into it and it sent shivers down Cas' body.

"2? It's barely 7" he frowned.

"I'm going to work at 10 though, wee-'ve got about 3 hours" he smiled, pressing his nose in the crevice of Cas' neck.

"3 hours to play video games" Cas smiled.

" _Erghhh_ " he grunted, but caved in to Cas' perky pleads. 

"I'm just kidding Dean, you don't have to play, but....you can watch me" he grinned, sitting on top of Dean's lap, resting his head on Dean's chest, slouching down. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, buckled at his waist and Cas' hair slipped into Dean's nose. 

"Your hair's a mess" Dean laughed, fixing his bed head and pressing his cheek on the side of Cas' head.

"So?" he giggled, "this is my favorite game."

"I like this game too" Dean admitted, kissing the tip of his ear, "beat this like 10 times."

" _Only_ ten?" he laughed.

"You're such a nerd Cas."

"Shut up, you're boring" he joked.

"Boring?" he asked rhetorically. "Give me that!" he exclaimed, grabbing the control out of his hands.

"Hey!" Cas wailed, "give it ba-ack."

"I'm not boring" he smiled, bringing the control back so Cas couldn't reach it.

"Asshole" he smirked, now straddling him, trying to reach for the control. Dean unexpectedly stole a kiss from him and dropped the control behind the couch, catching him in his arms. "I hate you" Cas laughed and kissed him back. Dean's phone began to ring from the kitchen counter, but he didn't go for it or make an attempt to stop.

"Your phone Dean" Cas murmurred.

"I know, leave it alone."

"No, what if it's Sam?"

"Fine" he sighed and got up. He rushed to it but missed the call.

"Missed it" he shrugged and rushed back to Cas, pinning him down on the couch, and that was that, again. They managed to move the couch a significant ways away from where it had been.

2 hours later, showered and ready, Dean had to go. "You're welcome to stay here till I'm back?" he suggested.

"I probably will, I'll be playing some games till then, call me though, on your way home" he told him as he stood in the open doorway.

"I will Cas, and oh, silly me, I made some reservations for us down at a resuraunt tonight, just me and you" he smiled.

"Oh Dean" he laughed, waving as he left.

* * *

 

Later that night, they ended up going to a fancy Italian resturaunt, Dean had reserved a table up on the balcony that looked over to the ocean.

"Wow someone went all out" Cas smiled, sitting in his chair and fixing his bowtie.

"Coming from someone who wore a bowtie?" Dean laughed.

"Shut up" Cas hummed as he looked through the menu.

"Ever been here?" Dean asked.

"Nope" he answered.

"It's really good, brought Jo here all the time" he smiled, feeling nostalgic. "I'm gonna use the restroom okay? I'll be back."

"Alright, don't miss me" Cas laughed as Dean walked by. Cas continued looking through the wine menu, nodding suggestively at every one. "Can I offer you to some wine?" a familiar British voice asked. He looked up from his menu and noticed Balthazar with a wine bottle. When they noticed each other, their eyes grew wide and Cas cowarded back.

"Castiel!" he sang in surprise, walking towards him.

"Get away from me" he told him, holding onto the rails of the balcony.

"Here with your faggot?" he asked and Cas tensed up, clenching his fists.

"Get away Balthazar."

"Thought we scared you off for good, apparently not I see" he laughed.

"Just go away, he's gonna come back and-"

"He..who's  _he?_ "

"Dean" he mumbled.

"Dean? Dean Winchester? I don't believe it" he smirked. "But why don't you get your faggot ass out of my resturaunt!" he shouted, inches away from him.

"Get the hell away from him!" Dean yelled, pulling him back and making him fall to the ground.

"Dean let's just go, we can eat in at your place."

"No Cas, I didn't make reservations just so we can leave!" Dean shouted, pointing at him while staring fiercly into Balthazar's eyes when he stood up.

"Get out of the resturaunt!" he shouted at Dean. Cas looked down the balcony to see if anyone had noticed.

"Just let me and Castiel eat our friggin dinner, and we're out of here."

"Okay, fine" he smirked and walked past Dean, bumping Cas and making him fall halfway down the stairs. Without hesitation, Dean ran after Balthazar and grabbed him by the shoulder. In anger and humility, he swung his fist and knocked Balathazar down, head bashing into the cement floor, knocking him out instantly.

"Cas, you okay?" he shouted and scurried over to him, helping him up. "Are you okay Cas? Talk to me."

"I'm fine Dean, I'm okay, can we please go?" he grunted, holding his head.

"Yeah Cas, let's go" he whispered.

They walked back to Dean's place, Cas buried in Dean's arms as Dean kissed the top of Cas' head, making him feel better. "Sorry that happened Cas" he whispered. He didn't say anything back, he didn't say anything until they got home.

"So Cas, I can order some pizza or chinese food?" Dean smiled as they walked in the house.

"No Dean, can I go home?" he asked wearily.

"But Cas...we were supposed to eat dinner together" he frowned.

"I know, maybe tomorrow, I don't wanna tonight."

"Cas, why?"

"I don't know Dean, I haven't been home, I just wanna go home."

"No, come on, I stood up for you, the least you can do is stay and eat dinner with me."

"Dean I'm flattered but, why do you care about me so much?"

"I don't know, I just do Cas, come on."

"Dean, just why?"

"I just do Cas..please stay," he said, inches away from his face.

"Why do you care so much about someone you met a few days ago!?" he shouted angrily.

"Because I love you Cas okay!?" he yelled, waving his hands around. He fluttered his eyelashes a few times before he realized what he said and wiped the look straight off his face. Castiel flushed red and his heart grew to beat faster. Dean's hand pressed against the wall behind Cas. They blankly stared at each other. Cas licked his lips subtly and instantly pulled Dean in for a kiss, digging his nails into the back of his neck. His mouth hit Dean's roughly with every kiss, their teeth clamped at times and he bit down on his bottom lip, making it pulse red. He lifted Cas up by his thighs and walked down the hall, lips still locked and biting at each other's lips. He threw Cas against a wall, pressing his nose on his roughly, biting at the air when he missed Cas' lips. Cas pressed his palms into Dean's chest, ripping off his jacket and shirt while Dean pulled his head back by his hair, sticking his tongue down his mouth aggressively. He ripped off Cas' bowtie and clothes, leaving his briefs halway off, enough where you could see the lines of his pelvis. Dean dropped to his knees and sucked on his v-line, biting at what he could and leaving red marks on his skin. He gazed up into Cas' blue eyes as he pulled his briefs down slowly, biting at his hipbones. Cas stepped out of his briefs and gasped for air when Dean took his cock whole. He battered his eyes a few times and left them shut, opening his silent mouth every now and then, swaying his body to-and-fro, into Dean's mouth he went. He gently rested his hands on the back of Dean's head, slowly pushing his head deeper and deeper into him. Dean came up for air, pressing his forehead against Cas' lower stomach, raising to his feet again and forcing himself on Cas' mouth. He picked him up and carried him the rest of the way to the bed, tossing him down on his back, plopping into the mattress. He pulled his own briefs down and got the lube from the end table, bathing his cock in it. Cas took him all the way, clenching his fists around the sheets as Dean thrusted into him. Cas' throat hitched time after time.

"Dean" his voice broke, he fucked Cas filthily and wonderful. Turning him inside out, he held Cas' hips firmly, stroking harder and faster when he begged for more. He rolled his hips rythymetically in a slow pace. He stopped and pushed Cas away, slipping next to him on the bed and slapping his thigh for Cas to sit on him. He followed suit and sat on Dean's dick, sliding it in smoothly, facing Dean and watching his every gasp. He fucked Dean's cock slowly while Dean thrust his hips up and into him. Cas dropped his hands to Dean's chest, rubbing at it and pressing his fingers into his vulnerable skin. Dean sat up, pushing Cas on his knees and layed into him, and that's all Cas wanted. He looked out the windows at the lights, seeing their faint reflection, Dean holted over him, panting and moaning in a sweat as Dean thrusted harder and faster into him. He arched his back, Dean raising himself higher to adjust to the position as Cas writhed on the bed. Dean's stomach hitched, panted out of rythym. He arched down, biting his wrist while Dean fell on him, fucking him even  _harder_. He cried against his skin, biting it to ease the burning pain around his rim. His voice pinched and cracked with every breath of Dean's name and it made Dean shiver. He watched as Cas struggled to take him any longer, he watched as his eyes shut tight, teeth biting at his wrist and he smirked, half menacingly at the sight of it, thrusting very hard, as hard as he could into Cas. Finally noise came out of Cas' mouth again, sounded like a long needed shriek, it was short and enough to tell Dean he was ready. He pulled out, pushing Cas down on his back and he hurlded over him, grinding their cocks together, holding them both steadily in one hand. Without any hesitation, Cas came all over himself, sliding down the crease of his hipbones and lathering Dean's hand. His body grew limp and warm, his voice pinched again, tight and it hitched as he gasped for air. Dean fell on him, biting at Cas' shoulders while he let out sighs of pleasure, finishing his orgasm on him. They fell asleep that way.

* * *

 

The sun barely slipped through the loomy New York City clouds, snow packed on cars and on top of buildings. Dean woke to the sound of his alarm singing  _Heat Of The Moment_ , quickly shutting it off for he didn't want to wake Cas, yet. He rubbed his face down with his hand, yawning silently and noticing he was naked, smiling at the memory of last night and turning to him. 

"Morning Cas" he spoke in a fatigued manner, stroking Cas' hair back with his fingers, brushing his cheek with the tips of them. He didn't move and Dean smiled wider, wrapping one arm around him and pulling him close. Cas breathed loudly, exhaling through his nose and got comfortable against Dean's embrace. "Cas" he whispered, "Cas wake up" he grinned, eyes closed and his chin rested against the back of his head. His hand slid from Cas' chest, down to the magnificent-feeling of his hipbones, and a little further until Cas cringed in his sleep, making a faint moan. Dean giggled and slid his hand back up with his fingertips and he nibbled on Cas' ear.

"Dean" Cas groaned, "I'm very tired" he spoke in a groggy tone, turning to his other side to face him, one eye open because his other was too lazy to stay open.

"Wake up with me" Dean mouthed, pulling Cas closer. He tried to turn away, smiling but Dean caught him and pulled him tight.

"I'm really sleepy Dean" he smirked, closing his eye and rested his head on Dean's arm, "I'll be up in an hour."

"I'm really sleepy Dean" he mimicked jokingly in a girly voice.

"Stoppit" Cas laughed faintly.

"Stoppit" he laughed, still in a girly manner.

"I mean it!" he cackled tiredly, eyes still half-closed as he put his hand over Dean's moving mouth. He payed no attention to it and nibbled on the palm of Cas' hand, pulling him on top of his body. "Please Dean, I'm really tired, okay?"

"Fine" Dean said and intertwined his own fingers in between Cas' and pushed upwards with them, swaying them in the air while he talked. "I have to go to work though, so I'm gonna get up and get ready."

"Work? Again?" he frowned, gulping casually as he rested his head on Dean's chest, hand still being toyed with by Dean's in the air.

"Yeah, don't you have school?" he asked back.

"Tomorrow, but who cares."

"Let's not do this again babe" Dean said, kissing the top of his head, "now I'm gonna shower and go to work, you're welcome to stay here again, go back to your house, I don't care, just text me please if you leave" he said.

"I won't leave here, maybe back to my place to get a pair of clothes, I like it here."

"You should...move in" he smiled subtly.

"What?" 

"Move in..." he repeated, dragging his words along.

"You want me to move in? Why?"

"Because....I thought I said I loved you" he shrugged.

"Well I love you too Dean but, we don't have to move in just  _yet_."

"Oh, okay" he frowned, puckering his lips.

"Not saying I don't wat to..or that I won't, because I will...soon" he spoke.

"Okay" Dean nodded.

"Just let me finish this month's rent, I promise" he assured him.

"Fair enough Cas" he smiled, kissing his forehead and got up.

"I'm gonna sleep now!" he shouted, throwing himself in Dean's warm spot.

"Okay babe! I'll be home at 3" he shouted from the bathroom.

Cas fell asleep and waited for Dean to return home.


	4. Let's Talk About The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I'm gonna rush a few things so I don't drag it along, hence the dates

Minutes seemed like hours to Cas when Dean was at work, he sat and played video games, even went back to his place for an hour and time still dragged on. Dean had been texting him, though, which gave Cas a little more comfort. By 2 o'clock, he started making some late lunch for him and Dean, hoping to get something better in return later in the night.

When he finally did come home, Cas ran up to him like a child when their father would return, and jumped in his arms, making Dean drop his suitcase.

"Whoa" Cas kissed him, "someone missed me" he smiled, holding Cas up by his thighs.

"Yeah I did" he inhaled upon Dean's lips, gripping his neck.

"Cas, calm down babe, let me get situated here" he laughed, kissing him one last time then set him down gently.

"I made us some lunch" he said, following him to the kitchen.

"Thanks Cas, but I kinda already ate" he said.

"Oh" Cas frowned. Dean noticed his puppy-like eyes as he frowned and began to put the food away and instantly felt sorry.

"Bu-ut I'll eat anyways" he smiled, pulling out a chair and grabbing his sandwich. "Sit with me" he said. Cas smiled perkily and sat on his lap, head buried in the crevice of Dean's neck. "How was your day? What'd you do?"

"Waited for you to come home" he mumbled.

"Really? So you sat here the  _whole_ time and did absoultely nothing?" he smiled, stuffing his face.

"No" he laughed, "I played video games-"

"Of course"

"I went to my place for an hour, took a shower, and you? How was yours?"

"Ah, the usual" he said, "Oh and, I invited Sam over for dinner if that's okay."

"Oh" he sighed.

"Is that okay?"

"I mean, I can't uninvite him Dean, he's not  _my_ brother."

"True, but I know you and him have problems, besides, he said he wants to come over and apologize to you"

"Really?"

"Yeah, he means it too, and I know when Sammy means something, trust me."

"Okay, but if it's not convincing, I don't  _have_ to believe him."

"I know Cas" he said and kissed his forehead, " we'll work things out baby."

"I love you" Cas whispered in his ear.

* * *

Later that night, Sam and Jess had come over and Cas felt really out of place and uncomfortable. Dean pulled him aside and tried to calm his nerves.

"Cas it's okay, he doesn't hate you, trust me, I know, please just come sit at the dinner table, stare at me the whole time, I don't care, please babe" he whispered, holding Cas' wrists and pulling him closer, slowly.

"I know Dean, I just feel uncomfortable, does he know we're dating?"

"I'm gonna tell him, trust me Cas, we'll be okay, you'll be okay" he whispered, chests touching and he intertwined his fingers between the spaces between Cas'.

"Fine" he caved, Dean kissed his forehead subtly and quietly, and they walked over to the dinner table. Cas stared down at his plate and tapped his fingers on the table.

"So Castiel.." Sam cleared his throat and Cas' eyes shot up at his.

"Sam?" he asked.

"Dean probably told you why I'm here, but I wanted to apologize for what I've done to you, I know an apology won't make all the talk about you at school stop but, I'm willing to try" Sam admitted truthfully, staring at Cas' nervously wandering blue eyes. 

"Oh, it's fine.." he mumbled, turning his head to Dean.

"No Castiel, I know you're angry about it and, you're a really good guy and I don't care if you're gay, I'm honestly sorry for what Balthzar and his buddies did to you."

"I am upset Sam..." he confessed and Dean turned to him, surprised he answered, "I wish you guys never said anything and Balthazar, I loved him at one point, but it became too much for me to handle, the relationship and, then he went off and you guys started the whole STD thing, and it hurt me for a while." And this was the first time Dean had heard of his  _true_ feelings. Sam nodded in remorse, listening to Cas as the truth in his emotions spilled out on the table, ruining their dinner. "I even went to to get checked, I was clean. The hate and pranks and lashes kept coming at me."

"Why'd you stay at school?" asked Sam.

"Because. Because I wanted to fulfill my dream and become a teacher, so that's why I completely shut everyone out, and that's why I became a jerk to everyone,  _everyone_ " he repeated, looking at Dean. He nodded, agreeing and remembering how Cas was when they first met. 

"I'm so sorry Castiel" he choked on his words, "I didn't realize how much this would affect you."

"It did, but I learned not to care, until Balthazar got me the other night" he said, looking back at his food, untouched.

"I'll take care of him Castiel, don't worry" he said.

"No, don't, Dean already handled that and-"

"Castiel, I must. It's my only way of repaying you"

"No, repay me by just, not doing anything about it, I...I forgive you" he nodded.

"You do?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Yeah" he nodded again and Dean smiled, rubbing his foot against Cas' leg subtly.

"Thank you Castiel" he nodded, clearing his throat again and fixing his hair behind his ear.

"Ahem, and I have an announcement" Dean smiled, playfully hitting his champagne glass. Cas' body went warm and he wanted to sink under a blanket and fall off the face of the earth because he knew what Dean was gonna say.

"What is it?" Jess asked.

"Cas and I are dating, just so y'know" he said, tipping his glass and smiling behind it.

"Well that's...great man" he smiled, and tipped his glass towards Dean and Cas. "And we have an announcement too."

"Shoot" said Dean. Sam smiled gittily, puckering his lips tight and holding Jess' hand.

"We're pregnant" he squealed, squeezing Jess' hand. Dean nearly spit his drink out and his eyes widened, smiling.

"Congratulations?" he smiled, standing up to hug his brother.

"Thanks man" he smiled, patting Dean's back.

The rest of their night consisted of old stories and boards games. Cas finally got comfortable, and drunk, latching onto Dean. He passed out on the couch until Sam and Jess left.

"Cas" Dean whispered, sitting beside him and rubbing his back," babe it's 2 AM, come to bed."

"Dean I'm tired" he croaked, "just leave me here."

"No Cas, you're coming to bed, I'll carry you" he laughed, slipping his arms under Cas' warm body.

"No don't" he whispered, then Dean pulled him up in his arms, "nevermind, please carry me" he changed his mind at the touch of Dean's warm body.

Dean laughed, Cas was cute and he was cuter when he set him on the bed, fixing the covers over him. He was cute even when he was sucking on Dean's cock and cute when he screamed his name, cute when he moaned in his ear, cute when he made his face when he came that night. Cas was cute all the time.

The year passed, Cas moved in and life was great. Sam even put Balthazar in his place and school life went well for him. He graduated and even got teaching credentials and became a teacher. Cas and Dean were living a perfect life, so it seemed. The sex was great and life in the penthouse was greater. Dean never thought about Jo again. In fact, seeing Sam's baby girl, Mary, influenced an idea on Cas. He brought up adopting a child to Dean and he shot it down a few times until Cas  begged enough. 

**June 12th, 2001**

They wound up adopting a 4 year old boy. It could pass off as Dean's son, even Cas'. Most people thought it was one of theirs at times. He had black hair, just drooping over his forehead. His eyes weren't blue nor green, but hazel. They named him Adam. Dean grew to love him as his own. Cas played the mommy-figure. He changed him and fed him and took him to pre-school, everything. Dean watched as Cas parented, how cute it was and became nostalgiac. One night, it got out of hand.

"Adam, eat your food" Dean scolded as Cas played with him. "Adam, eat your food, now."

"Dean, he'll eat his food, this is too cute" he smiled, still playing with Adam.

"No Cas, it's getting late and he needs to sleep. Adam eat your food!" he raised his voice.

"Dean, calm down, I'll make him eat it right now" he smiled again, looking to him.

"Adam eat your fucking food!" Dean yelled, slamming his fists into the table and Adam began to cry in shock. Dean stood up and pushed his plate away, angrily and walked to his room. Cas held Adam and rocked him, shushing him. He rocked him till he stopped crying and fell asleep. He set him in his bed, kissing him to sleep and he walked over to is room where Dean lay in bed. Shutting the door, he threw his arms up.

"What's your problem? What was that for?" he asked,

"That boy needs to learn to listen" he answered sternly.

"Dean for fucks sake, he's four!" Cas shouted while he walked towards him.

"I don't care Cas! I was listening to my dad when I was four, so can Adam."

"Dean, he's only been in our lives for 3 months, his birthday is coming up, he's gonna be five and, just accept that you have a son now, it's been long enough to adjust."

"Yeah Cas? Well you rushed me into it, I wasn't ready, and I don't think I will be" he replied, sitting up now.

"You're his father Dean, he's your son, deal with it."

"Stoppit with that word!" he shrieked, cringing as if  _father_ were some vile word.

"What word? Father?"

"Yes! Stop with that word!"

"Why? Dean are you not happy to be a father...we talked about this..."

"No Cas, listen..." he calmed himself and held Cas' wrists, pulling him down to sit on the bed, "I'm very happy to be Adam's father okay, I'm sorry for getting like this, work's been rough babe" he spoke softly,  holding Cas' chin and stroking it with his thumb.

"Okay Dean, but that was uncalled for how you yelled at him, I'm just afraid he'll be scared of you, I don't want that."

"Neither do I. Tomorrow, I have the day off, maybe I can take him to the zoo or something when I pick him up from school, while you're at work?"

Cas smiled and laughed to himself, "that sounds great babe" he nodded, being kissed on the forehead soon after. Cas got up to switch the lights off, stripped to his briefs as Dean motioned for him to straddle him. Cas smirked and shook his head and followed. Dean grabbed him by the waist, swaying him side to side, moving back and forth while their cocks grew warm beneath the fabric of their briefs, rubbing and griding against each others'.

"Dean" Cas moaned, guiding Dean's hands up to his chest and holding them there. "Dean not now" he whispered, falling on his bare chest.

"Why not?" he asked, moving himself side to side, trying Cas to move with him.

"I just don't want to tonight" he said, resting his head against his chest.

"Fine, but you owe me" he smiled, relaxing himself and rubbing Cas' back.

"Can I ask you something? he whispered softly in Dean's ear.

"Go for it"

"Why don't you like talking about your dad?" He heard Dean sigh frustratingly, internally and annoyed. Cas slid off of him, rolling to his side and staring at him, propped on one elbow and watched while Dean stared up at the ceiling.

"I just...don't Cas" he murmurred.

"Ba-abe" he hummed, walking his fingers up Dean's chest, "please, we've been together a while now, I think I deserve to know" he said.

"Cas, maybe some other time."

"Please Dean, in all seriousness, please tell me why you haven't mentioned him at least  _once_." Dean exhaled and licked his lips as he always did when he was ready to give a long speech or talk. He looked over to Cas' convincing eyes that shone and mocked him in the city lights outside.

"Well, my mom died when I was little and uh," he exhaled, trying not to choke on his words, "my dad, he uh- he took it pretty bad, he drank...a  _lot_. I'm not saying he was like an abusive father, maybe he was somewhat of an alchoholic, but never enough to hurt us, physically at least. When Sam grew old enough to make his own decisions, he decided he didn't wanna join the family business, but instead fulfill his dream and become a lawyer.  He uh-" he cleared his throat, "he left, moved here and my dad was pretty pissed, really pissed actually," he said, Cas now rested under his arm that wrapped around him, listening tentatively, "we moved here because of his other job and well, 10 years ago he moved away, leaving me the family business and I uh- I found out he left when some guys at work told me...he didn't even say goodbye and I haven't heard from him since" he finished, clearing his throat again and exhaling. Cas sighed and stroked Dean's cheek.

"I'm sorry babe" he whispered.

"Don't be, it actually felt nice telling someone, who cares for one" he laughed subtly, staring into Cas and thanking him without even saying it.

"I love you Dean" he whispered, closing his eyes. Dean kissed him on his forehead and whispered into his hair that he loved him too and they fell asleep.

The next morning, Cas woke at 5, got ready for work and got Adam ready for Dean to walk him to pre-school, since it would be their day today.

"Dean, I'm leaving now, call you later, have a good day" he whispered into Dean's ear while he slept, gently pressing his lips against the side of his head. Dean grunted in approval. "You've got to wake up if you're gonna take Adam to school" he laughed, tugging on his arm. Dean sighed and got up slowly, pulling Cas in for long smooch.

"Daddy" Adam emerged at the door, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Yes?" they both replied, turning their hads tentatively, laughing after the fact they realized they're  _both_ his dad.

"Come here bug" Cas called, opening his arms and he hurried over to him, Cas picking him up and tickling him a few times. Adam fell next to Dean and he wrapped his ginormous arm around the small child, holding him comfortably. "I'm gonna go now" he told Dean.

"Where you going Daddy?" Adam asked.

"Daddy's going to work bug, Dean's gonna take you somewhere today" he smiled, kissing them both on their foreheads. Dean cuddled next to Adam.

"Say bye to Daddy" he said, waving his hand at Cas who was walking out slowly, and Adam did, waving his hand too.

Later in the day, Dean picked Adam up from school and took him right to the zoo. He held his hand the whole time, most of the time Adam was propped up on Dean's shoulders and he explained what animals were scary and which animals were nice. Adam cried when one of the tigers roared, and Dean held him close and told him it was okay. They fed the animals even when the sign said not to. He fell asleep in Dean's arms when they walked back home and he put him in his bed and waited for Cas to come home.

When he finally returned, Adam was awake and Dean was passed out on the couch with a baseball game on. Cas laughed and kissed him awake, falling in his arms.

"Hey babe" he whispered into his mouth, writhing his tongue inside his.

"Hey Cas" he smiled, kissing him back tiredly, "how was your day?"

"Good, the usual, and yours? Did Adam like it?"

"Why don't you ask him?" he smiled and pointed at Adam who was already walking towards them. Dean picked him and placed him on his other lap, holding his 2 boys close and tight.

"How was the zoo bug? Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly, "I saw...all the animals and tigers and lions and snakes!"

"Wow! I wish I coulda went with you guys!" he exclaimed, happy that him and Dean got along well.

"Did you tell him you cried?" asked Dean jokingly. 

"You cried?" Cas asked.

"The tiger yelled really loud like 'rawrrrr'" he mimicked the piercing roar and Cas and Dean laughed together, "and I got weally scared" he explained nervously.

"Well as long as you had fun" Cas smiled, tossling his hair and getting up to dress into comfy clothes.

That night when Adam was off to sleep, Cas and Dean stayed up together, talking. They went out to the balcony to have a smoke, something Dean had gotten Cas into. Cas set on the ledge of the balcony, an overwhelming view of the city stood below and behind him, his skin bright in the city lights as Dean held onto his waist just in case, chest touching Cas' knees as he bent over him.

"I wish you were with us today, he was so cute" Dean said.

"Me too" he answered, taking a hit and exhaling, "I'm really glad  _you_ had a good time especially, you needed it babe" he smiled, stroking Dean's hair.

"Yeah" he exhaled to the side, "yeah I did and it was great."

"Maybe next week, since school will be over and I won't have to teach anymore for 3 months, maybe we can go somewhere, just us 3, maybe even Sam, Jess, and Mary."

"No, I'd like it to be just us three" he smiled, finishing his cigarette and tossing it over the ledge.

"Really?" Cas asked, dropping his stub down, getting back on his feet and falling into Dean's embrace.

"Yeah" he grinned, lips brushing Cas', "we can to Florida or something, go to Disneyworld, for Adam's birthday, or I don't know, go camping, something."

"That sounds great babe" Cas smiled, moving closer and catching onto his lips. His arms wrapped around Dean's neck and he he dragged Cas inside slowly, closing the glass door of the balcony. He brought him over to the couch, having him straddle his waist, caught in his arms. He took Cas' shirt off, sucking on his skin while Cas breathed heavily in Dean's hair, pulling on it and pressing his fingers into the back of his neck.

"Dean" he sighed, "Dean not now babe."

"Again? Babe you  _owe_ me" he smirked, sucking his skin again till Cas pushed him away gently, "I've got papers to grade."

"Fuck your papers" Dean laughed, pulling him down and crawling on top of him.

"De-ean" he grunted, cringing away from his kisses until Dean finally hit the spot, a simple breath on his neck and that was enough to take Cas. His voice shook and pinched as he sucked his skin, making his way down to his v-line, pulling his pants down and biting at the elastic of his briefs. 

"You owe me big time" he whispered, and the breath upon Cas' pelvis sent shivers down his spine as he sighed dramatically, pushing Dean's face down into the bulge of his boxers. He squirmed out of them and Dean took it whole, bobbing his head back and forth, stroking Cas' chest at the same time.

"Yeah I do" Cas whispered back in a soft moan.

"Fuck" Dean scoffed, taking a break for air, "you're hard, really hard tonight."

"Fuck me Dean" he begged, pulling on Dean's hair roughly, trying to pull down his pants with his feet. Dean smiled and enjoyed his begs, growing harder beneath his jeans and briefs with every beg and plea. "C'mon Dean, fuck me."

"Not yet" he said in between sucks of his dick, "not yet."

"Mmmph," he squealed, running his fingers through his own hair, the other hand gripping the back of the couch. 

They made slow love that night, quiet and real, romantic.

That's how their sex always was, romantic, quiet because they didn't want to wake Adam. A lot had changed since they adopted him; changed for the better. Dean became a better father as time passed, took him to school every morning, taught him things a dad should, went to all his school events and activities. Him and Cas would take him out every weekend because they hardly saw him during the week due to work, Sam had to pick him up sometimes and take care of him till one of them got off and picked him up from Sam's house. They made it up to him by taking him places and spoiling him because they had the money. It was never just Cas and Dean anymore and sometimes it upset Dean, sometimes they'd fight, but neither of them could hold a grudge and they'd have make-up sex the same night. There was sex for everything, make-up sex, you look good in those briefs-sex, shower-sex, the dinner was great-sex, work was rough-sex, morning-sex, and if they had the chance, rarely, they'd have afternoon-sex. Sometimes, they'd tell Sam they both had overtime at work just to have a few hours to themselves, resulting in more sex. Overall, the relationship was great for both of them. Cas fulfilled his dream and became a high school teacher, Dean went on with his business at Winchester and Sons, they had a beautiful now, five year-old son, a beauiful and luxurious penthouse, and everything they wanted. They grew to make friends who were okay at their sexual preferences, often having parties in the penthouse. A lot of times they'd invite Sam, Jess, and their baby Mary over for dinner, or they'd go over to Sam's house for the same reason. Cas was still the same geek Dean met at the coffee shop, they still went there before work, he still played video games in his freetime, Dean would watch baseball, they'd even go to baseball games because Cas grew a sudden liking for the sport. For Adam's birthday they went camping, just them three. Life was really going well.

**August 25th, 2001**

Dean was upset and Cas could tell. He barely touched his food and didn't talk, he didn't even want to watch the Yankee game like he usually does after dinner. Cas tried making jokes but he would't laugh and he grew concerned as Dean pushed his plate away and headed for the shower. It was nighttime, around 9 o'clock and Adam was asleep. Cas cleaned up while Dean showered, thinking of what to say, how to ask what was wrong because it genuinely scared him. He began to think all the worst thoughts like  _Dean is going to leave me, I know he is, that's how all couples get, someone gets bored and ignores the other_ or _I did something, or he's cheating on me, what did I do?_ his thoughts flashed in his head, not knowing what to say and couldn't even finish cleaning. He heard the water stop in the bathroom and walked down the hall, dizzy and confused. 

"Dean?" he spoke softly as he emerged out of the shower, wet and a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Yeah?" he asked monotonously.

"Can I...can I ask you something?" he asked, walking to him.

"Yeah Cas, shoot" he said.

"Well, what's wrong babe?" asked Cas who was inches from him already, reaching for his hand and intertwining his fingers with Dean's.

"What do you mean babe? Nothing's wrong, just don't feel too well."

"No, I know something's wrong, please tell me?" he pleaded, grabbing his other hand and he leaned on Dean's wet chest, getting his shirt moist.

"Babe.." Dean sighed, letting go of his hands and holding onto Cas' waist.

"What?"

"I've been wanting to tell you something but I don't know how, I'm afraid you'll be mad at me" he confessed, biting his lip nervously. Cas' heart began to race and feared for what Dean had to say, afraid it'd be something he thought earlier.

"What? Tell me, what did I do? Are you leaving me? Don't leave me" he cried.

"Leaving y- No!" he shook his head, "why would you think that?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

"Well, I'm not leaving forever..." he added, hanging onto the word  _forever_.

"But you are...leaving?" Cas asked.

Dean sighed and nodded, "Yeah Cas, for 2 weeks for a business trip, to Boston." He felt Cas relax at the fact he wasn't leaving forever, or anything bad, but still kind of tense because he hated when Dean went on business trips. "And I'm leaving in 4 days."

"Four days?!" he exclaimed, catching himself, not trying to wake Adam, "Four days?" this time he whispered.

"Yeah"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Babe, I only found out today, trust me I'm really pissed off too."

"Well I wish you woulda known earlier so we could at least spend these last few days together."

"Me too babe, I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize" said Cas, kissing the center of his chest.

"We can still go somewhere, just us  _two"_   he added.

"Us  _two?_ "

"Yeah, for like 2 days, then we can come back and spend the last day with Adam, and by the fourth day, I have to leave."

"Well, I guess"

"Where do you wanna go?"

"Gosh I don't know" Cas sighed, pressing his cheek against the dampness of Dean's chest, "not much to do in a big city when you've lived here for years."

"True," Dean laughed, "but I can get us a nice hotel that overlooks the ocean, we can stay in and fool around for 2 days, what do you say?"

"That sounds great actually" he smiled.

"Yeah? You sure? We can go somewhere else if you'd like."

"No baby, hotel sounds nice" he said again, squeezing Dean against the wall in the hallway.

"We'll leave tomorrow then" Dean whispered, kissing the top of Cas' head.

The next day, Sam vouched to watch Adam while they went on their trip. Before they knew it, they were in the nice suite, on the top floor and it overlooked the ocean and the city. Cas stepped out on the terrace and Dean came up behind him wrapping his arms around him.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah" Cas smiled, snapping a picture of it.

"What do you wanna do now?" Dean asked.

Cas turned to him and slid his arms up and around his neck, "I think you know" he smiled, brushing his lips against Dean's biting Dean's bottom lip.

"Let's save that for tonight" he whispered into his ear.

"Okay, then what do we do?"

"Whatever my baby wants" he smiled and looked down into Cas' eyes.

"I honestly don't know babe, you pick."

"Well I had this in mind" Dean said, handing him a brochure from his back pocket, Cas looked through it, on the front it had boats.

"You rented a fucking boat?" Cas laughed at how cute it was.

"Yeah, why not?" Dean laughed back.

"When can we go for a ride?"

"Now?" Dean shrugged. Cas shook his head as he laughed and wrapped his arm around Dean while they walked out.

They walked down the pier and to the dock were the boats were, stepping in their medium sized boat. They waited for the sailor to come on and sail them out in the middle of the ocean so it could be just them two...and the sailor, but they didn't mind him. They enjoyed the sight of the ocean and saw some dolphins and small fish, looking back at the city that seemed ant-sized now. They sat in each others' embrace and reminisced old times together, sipping a few beers and having a good time.

"God I love you Cas" Dean said when silence became too much.

"I love you too Dean" he smiled, leaning his head back for a kiss.

"I've gotta ask you something babe" 

"Shoot" Cas said and Dean smiled. He smiled because Cas never says 'shoot', it was something he picked up along the course of the relationship, and it was cute.

"Well, I love you a lot" he repeated.

"I love you too.." Cas smiled, confused.

Dean took a deep breath, "will you marry me?" he asked nervously, scratching the back of his head. Cas dropped his beer and gulped, staring blankly into Dean's eyes. "Cas?"

"Yeah....yeah I'll marry you Dean!" he shouted and threw himself on Dean, squeezing him tight. 

"Thank you" he breathed, smiling faintly and holding him close. "Here" he said, holding out a ring for him, "let me put this on you and never take it off, we may not be able to get married legally, but if you never take this off, you'll always be mine" he said, fixing the ring around Cas' finger. "And here, put this ring on me" he told him, "put it on me and I'll always be yours, I'll  _never_ take it off." Cas smiled and trembled as he fixed the ring around Dean's finger.  "Give me a kiss" he whispered and Cas did, and he held onto it for a long time as they sailed back to the docks.

That night they went out to eat at a fancy resturaunt. After, they returned to the hotel and didnt hesitate to fuck each other the moment they stepped in. The sex was good that night, and the next morning, and in the afternoon, and that night too. That night they had sex, rougher than usual. The bed creeked as Cas rocked back and forth, straddled on top of Dean, holding into his chest, Dean holding onto Cas' arms. Then he was thrown on his knees and he took Dean all the way. Dean thrusted into him, cursing and plowing into him as Cas held onto the headboard. It crashed into the wall, denting it and making a noticeable crack in the wall. Cas screamed just because he knew he could, because he knew Adam wasn't around to wake up and he was with Dean. He screamed to let him know he wanted Dean to stay, he screamed because it felt so good to scream, he screamed just because. Dean let him know it was alright as he accomodated to his begs to fuck him harder and faster, letting him know he'd be okay and that he'd be back soon. Before he knew it, Dean was thrown on his back  as  Cas laid into him, thrusting harder than he ever had before, fucking him with all his might, making sure it was clear that he wanted Dean to stay, that he was angry, and he wasn't gonna let him leave without him knowing. He laid into him so hard that even Dean began to scream his name and clutch the sheets that were coming undone. He was aware Cas was angry and was hurting, he was well aware of it by now. Sweat rolled off Cas' forehead as he bit Dean's lip roughly, sucking on his skin and exhaling whenever he hit the right spot. His eyes shut tight and he clenched his teeth, exhaling out of his nose while Dean still took him, doing the same, moaning between his clamped teeth, sweat mixing together and creating something they never had before. The last thing they remembered of that night was falling to each others' sides and saying 'I love you' nearly a thousand times till they fell asleep and repeated in the morning, this time calm and romantic in the early dawn as the sun rose. Cas rode Dean smoothly under the blankets, head leaned down, foreheads pressed against each others', mouths opening together, top lips barely touching, no sounds coming out, eyes slightly closed and fluttering. Whenever they tried to kiss, they'd get interrupted by a moan bellowing out of their mouths. Dean pushed up into Cas slowly, finding that right rythym and staying at pace. Cas' head drew back and Dean's hands held his hips steadily, Cas planting them on top of his accordingly. When Cas came, Dean pulled him down and let him cry into his neck, shushing him and letting him know it'd be okay. Whispering  _only 2 weeks babe, that's it, only 2 weeks_. They lay there for a while, listening to the sounds of their heartbeats, Dean stroking Cas' head slowly while Cas' face was buried in the crevice of his neck, often begging him to stay, playing with his ear. He propped his chin up just under Dean's collarbones, looking up at him wearily with those damn puppy-eyes that always got to him.

"What babe?" he asked, knowing something was wrong.

"Do you  _have_ to go?" he asked, upset.

Dean sighed and stroked Cas' back with the tips of his fingers, barely brushing his skin, "yeah I do babe, I know it sucks but I have to go." Cas shut his eyes and exhaled, kissing Dean's chest momentarily until he was pulled up. "But you know I'll be back."

"I know babe, it's just...you know how I get when you go away" he said.

"Yeah Cas, but Sam will be over a couple times, you'll have Adam, some friends over, you'll be okay."

"Will we be able to talk at least?"

"f'course" Dean smiled, "I can call you when I'm not busy" he said. Cas sighed, half relieved.

"okay babe."

"I kinda like it, just us two again, feels nice."

"Yeah, but we have Adam now."

"Oh I know, I love Adam babe, you know that, I'm just saying, it feels good to have alone time, when we're not on a schedule" he smiled, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, yeah it does babe" he nodded.

"Now let's go and spend my last day with Adam" he said, getting up slowly, kissing Cas one last time before they got ready to leave.

They went to Sam's house and Adam ran to Cas first, as he usually did, being handed to Dean soon after. They stayed a while and had lunch together with Sam, asking how little Mary was, Cas noted how much she looked like Sam, but had Jess' hair. Dean whispered  _looks a lot like mom_ to Sam when Cas and Jess were busy talking about the kids. They felt nostalgiac instantly and tried to get that feeling away. They announced their engagement and Sam was rather excited, as well as Jess and they celebrated over a glass of champagne. They explained that they wanted to spend the day with Adam before Dean went on his trip and they went off for the zoo. Adam sat on Dean's shoulders the whole time and Cas listened to Adam explain what he knew and learned about the animals in school when he went on a field trip here. Cas listened tentatively, smiling and nodding even though he knew he was wrong, taking pictures of Dean and Adam in front of the animals so he could look through them when Dean was gone. 

That night they went home and had dinner together, Cas barbequed some burgers just because they were Dean's favorite, they all watched the Yankee game together until Adam fell asleep, and Cas took him to his room to sleep. As Cas exited the room, he was caught off guard by a shirtless Dean, picking him up surprisingly, and running over to the room, closing the door behind them. He kissed him and tickled him in the dark and Cas played along, taking his shirt off and wrestling him on the bed. "Cas let's go sit in the hot tub tonight" he whsipered as Cas playfully tugged on him. Cas nodded and Dean carried him over and out on the terrace by his room. The hot tub overlooked the busy city and Cas stripped and got in, cringing at the heat of the water while Dean served some champagne from the bar that sat outside.

"Here you go" he hummed, handing him the glass as he sat next to him. "To us" he smiled, raising his glass then clinking theirs together, sipping on it after.

"The last few days were fun" Cas said, resting his head on Dean's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around Cas.

"Yeah" he agreed, looking down to the side at Cas, who was playing with Dean's necklace.

"What is this? I've been meaning to ask why you wear this" Cas asked, sipping his drink.

"Oh, it's my Samulet" he laughed and Cas was confused as to why he was laughing. "Oh, it's something Sam and I made up, he uh- he gave this to me one Christmas. It was originaly for my dad, but he wasn't home for Christmas, so he gave it to me" he explained, twiddling it between his fingers as he looked at it nostalgically.

"Oh, well that's nice, not the whole, dad not being there thing, the fact that your brother gave it you, not like in a mean way...but like-"

"Cas shut up" Dean laughed, "I know what you mean."

"Okay good" Cas giggled.

"I'm gonna miss your dumb ass" Dean smiled and sipped his champagne.

"I'm gonna miss you too babe" Cas sighed, remembering what was to come tomorrow.

"It's okay though, you know I'll be back" he said.

 "Yeah" he sighed again.

"I love you" Dean said, looking back at him and he stared, hard into Cas' blue eys that reflected wonders because of the water.

"I love you too" Cas began to cry and Dean pulled him close, putting his drink down and wrapped both arms around him to give him extra comfort. 

"Don't cry baby" he whispered, swaying him back and forth as he did when he tried to get Adam to stop crying.

"I'm sorry Dean, I know it's only," he sniffled, "2 weeks but, that's a long time to be away from you."

"Trust me I know Cas, I know babe."

"I wish we'd just move away to a small town in a small state and live there and live off my inheritance and maybe get some job just for the extra money, I don't even want to be a teacher anymore because you're all I think about when I'm teaching and when you're gone and I'm home, you're all I think about, when I'm with you you're all I think about" he confessed and Dean fluttered his eyelids, holding back his own tears, "I just don't want to live here anymore, I just want it to be us three" he weeped into Dean's chest and he held him there, kissing his head.

"Babe don't talk like that, we'll be okay. You've always wanted to be a teacher, and you are one, babe you proved your foster parents wrong, you proved everyone wrong!" he smiled, holding him underneath his cheeks, "You did it babe, now complete that."

"Dean," he spoke, holding onto his wrists as he still held him up by his cheeks, "I don't want to be a teacher anymore, I just wanna be with you all the time and just not have to worry about you leaving all the time."

"Me too Cas but-"

"But nothing! Dean, we need to move..."

"Cas-"

"Dean please.."

"Okay Castiel..." he said, he hadn't called him by his whole name in a year, "babe we will move when I get back, just let me get the money I deserve first" he said, inching towards Cas' lips. Cas sighed and let him kiss him.

"I love you okay?" he asked rhetorically, "don't forget that."

"I won't" he whispered, waiting to be kissed again. And they kissed the rest of the night, kisses and hugs and whispers. They stayed out well past midnight, laughing, Dean trying to make Cas cheer up which he evntually did. Dean ended up backing Cas up to the wall of the jacuzzi and made out with him while they got too used to the water, their fingers began to wrinkle but they didn't care. Cas inhaled the wetness of Dean's neck, afraid to let go, trying not to forget what he tasted like, to make a pure memory of the scent and taste. He took Dean in the hot tub, fucking down on him, still inhaling the scent and taste of Dean's neck, moaning and whimpering. Dean shushed him, again, letting him know everything was gonna be okay. He did the same, inhaling Cas' skin around his shoulders, biting them aggressively and holding onto the taste of his wet skin, so he could remember, so he could remember the whole time he was gone. Cas didn't want to let go.

He didn't want to let go in the morning at the airport either. He did his best not to cry, they did their kissing last night and in the car, for Dean was afriad if anyone saw them, he'd get denied a seat on the plane. Cas didn't care, he held his hand nervously, as if it wasn't obvious they weren't a couple, with Adam propped on Dean's lap while they waited. They waited and waited, Cas' stomach churning everytime the minute hand inched closer to 10 AM, when Dean would board the plane. But it eventually happened and Dean's nerves got the best of him, smooching Cas right there in front of everybody. Most didn't mind, some old ladies smiled and complimented their perfect family, some men scolded but forgot about it.

"I love you Cas, I'll call you when I land, answer the phone" he told him, even though he knew he was going to.

"I will babe" Cas cracked, squeezing Dean tight one last time.

"Bye Adam, I'll be back soon okay?" he said, stooping down on one knee and kissing his forehead and he began to cry a little. Cas picked him up and held him in his arms and waved to Dean who walked down the gate to the airplane and they waited for the plane to take off.


	5. You've Been Gone Too Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of dialogue/ phone calls between cas and dean in this chapter, but it doesn't make up the WHOLE chapter

The rest of the day without Dean was hard, the house felt empty and boring. He wore some of Dean's old band shirts to make it feel like he was hugging him, sat in his spot on the couch to get the scent on him. A few hours passed and Dean called Cas just as he said he would, and Cas answered without it even having to ring twice.

_Dean!_

_Hey Cas, I just landed._

_How was your flight?_

_It was a little bumpy, but I managed._

_Well I'm glad you're there safe, I miss you already._

_I miss you too babe, I'm gonna get situated in my hotel, then I'll call you later tonight is that okay? And if you feel I forgot, you call me. But I doubt I'll forget._

_Alright Dean_

_I love you_

_I love you too Dean_

_Bye babe_

_Bye_

That night was hard for Cas even though he talked to Dean before he went to bed. He could barely sleep and held onto Dean's pillow and inhaled his scent that was fading quick. He woke up late next morning and decided not to go to work again and kept Adam home, they had a lazy day together, watched movies and played video games. He hated answering Adam's constant 'Where's my other Daddy?' questions and just had a rough day, until Dean called on a break.

_Hey baby_

_Hey Dean_

_What are you doing?_

_Just set Adam down for a nap, now I'm laying in bed. You?_

_Chilling in my hotel room, thinking of you._

_Oh really?_

_Yeah, saw some commercial for a new video game, made me think of you._

_Aww, hey De-ean, Nintendo's coming out with a new console in mid-September and I re-ally want it._

_We'll see Cas._

_God I miss you so much._

_I miss you too babe, how's Adam been?_

_Won't shut up about you that's for sure._

_Aw, he misses me._

_Yes, he does, we can't wait till you come back._

_I'll be coming back on the 11th._

_The 11th!?_

_Ye-ah, sucks, but hey, now you know. It's only 2 weeks and like, 2 days._

_Fuck._

_It's okay Cas, I'll call you everyday, you know I will._

_Can you just like, come back everyday? Haha_

_Haha, I wish babe._

_Me too._

_I've gotta go, call you later?_

_Ugh, alright Dean, I love you._

_I love you more._

_No you don't._

_Do so._

_No._

_Yes._

_Stop._

_Fine, love you babe, bye._

_Love you too, bye._

_loveyoumorebye!_

_  
_And he hung up, leaving Cas laughing.

* * *

**September 7th, 2001**

**  
**Cas was getting more excited knowing Dean would be home soon. He called Cas every night, sometimes they talked dirty as they got off on the other line before they went to sleep. A few nights they fell asleep on the phone together because it helped Cas fall asleep.

The next day Cas had to take care of Mary while Jess and Sam went out. He didn't really want to but he did anyways because it was Sam and Jess, he'd do anything for them. Dean didn't call him that day and he grew worried, but then he thought to himself maybe he was really busy, so he let it slide till night fell and he had no calls and texts from Dean and he grew panicked while the kids slept, holding his phone and waiting for something. When he called, it went striaght to voicemail. He began to weep and his heart raced. A knock came on the door and he rushed to it, somehow hoping Dean was there, but it was only Sam.

"Cas?" Sam asked, noticing his red and teary eyes, "Cas what's the matter?"

"Have you talked to Dean?" he asked.

"No, not today, why? Is everything okay?"

"He hasn't called...his phone is off or something."

"Castiel, I'm sure he's okay, he probably got caught up with work or something, he's okay."

"No, I don't think so, what if he's cheating on me?" he shouted as he plopped himself on the couch. 

"Cas, you're okay, come on man, he'll call, I can stay here if you'd like, until he does. And I know Dean, he loves you, he wouldn't cheat on you."

"But Sam-" but then his phone rang and he jumped to it, it was Dean.

_DEAN_

_Cas I'm so sorry, I left my phone here at the hotel, it must've died, I'm sorry baby, you must be so scared._

_YEAH, I AM DEAN_

_Cas, Cas calm down please, babe I'm okay._

_DEAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THE TRUTH_

_Of course I am! What the hell? What else do you think?_

_ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?_

_Castiel, fucking calm yourself, I did not cheat on you, I am not cheating on you. Calm down Cas, breathe baby, I'm fine._

_I'm sorry....I'm sorry Dean, I'm sorry._

_Don't apologize Cas, just calm down okay, breathe._

_Okay Dean...I'm calm._

_I love you babe, I'm sorry, it won't happen again._

_I love you too Dean, I think I need to sleep, I've been worried sick_

_I wanna talk to you though..._

_Dean..._

_Please, I have some good news._

_Fine, just let me call you back okay._

_Okay, bye_

_  
_"Told you he was okay Cas" Sam nodded, patting Cas' back while he hung his phone up.

"Yeah" he smiled, relieved.

"I'm gonna get going, is Mary asleep?"

"Yeah, she's in my room, asleep on my bed."

And when Sam left, Cas let out the biggest sigh ever, plopping on the couch and dialing up Dean's number again.

_Hell-o_

_Hi Dean_

_Hey baby, what's up_

_Nothing_

_Oka-y, how was your day?_

_Horrible_

_Cas, I don't wanna talk if you're gonna give me one worded replies._

_Dean, I'm sorry, I'm upset still, okay._

_I understand Cas but, I told you I'm sorry, I really am._

_Can you just tell me what you were gonna tell me earlier?_

_Wow, fine Cas, forget about it I'll save it for a better time._

_Dean no-_

_No Cas_

_Dean I'm sorry_

_Bye_

_Dean!_

_Cas, you need to calm down okay, I'm fine now, I promise._

_I'm sorry babe, I was just scared, I don't know, I thought I lost you._

_You just need to stop being so pessimistic, be happy, like you always are with me._

_I can't be happy if you're not here though._

_Put me on speaker and close your eyes_

_You're so lame babe_

_Well it's good to hear you laugh._

_I guess so, you're just so dumb sometimes, haha_

_Well now that you're in a better mood, can I tell you?_

_Yeah babe, shoot._

_Well, since I pretty much own this business, I figured I can move it too right?_

_Mhm_

_So I think when I get back, maybe wait a week or so, we can move the business to a smaller town, smaller state, work from there, we can get what we both want._

_That's a good idea Dean_

_Yeah, I know, I thought you'd like that_

_I do_

_I miss you_

_I miss you too, (yawn)_

_You sleepy?_

_Yeah_

_Go to sleep then_

_I'm walking to bed right now_

_Wish I could join_

_I miss you in bed, a lot_

_Oh yeah?_

_Yeah_

_What do you miss me doing?_

_Dean, phone sex is weird, that was like twice that we did that, you're almost home, I think I can wait 4 days for sex._

_It'll be the best sex of your life._

_So far_

_So far_

_Well good night babe_

_Night Cas, love you_

_I love you too_

_Sweet dreams, dream of me_

_Don't I always?_

_You're too cute, bye baby._

_Bye bye._

_  
_**September 10th, 2001**

Cas and Dean got in an argument about how Cas was too concerned about Dean. He yelled at him over the phone, telling him exact times he should call him, to call him right when he woke up, before he went to work. Dean was a bit overwhelmed and he got drunk one night, really drunk, he almost took a woman in his room until he realized what he was doing, slamming the door in her face and sinking to his knees, drinking more, crying and forgetting to call Cas. But of course, Cas called him and Dean really laid into him.

_Castiel, you need to calm down, I am okay, I am FINE. You don't need to worry about me all the time._

_Dean, are you drunk?_

_Maybe...maybe not, don't wory about me I said!_

_Dean, calm down-_

_NO! You calm down Castiel, calm your fucking nerves because I. AM. OKAY. You understand me? I shouldn't have to call you when I get off work, or right when I wake up, you should just trust me and know that I am o-fucking-kay!_

_Dean-_

_No Cas listen, I don't have to call you every hour of the day, I can text you a little "I'm fine babe" but I don't have to fucking call you all the damn time!_

And at this point, Cas was crying.

_Dean why are saying this to me?_

_Because Castiel....you need to learn how to relax and calm down, you live life so pessimisticly, it makes me sick sometimes._

_Dean..  
_

_Cas..don't take offense to any of this, I'm only saying the truth._

_You don't need to be an ass about it._

_Well Cas, that's the way it is sometimes, face the truth._

_Fuck you Dean_

_(silence)_

_Castiel...Castiel don't hang up on me babe, I'm sorry! Cas?_

_  
_Cas did hang up though and threw his phone, almost breaking it. He stormed over to the bar and poured himself a drink and downed it, and repeated..and repeated..and repeated. How could Dean say that to him? Part of him wanted to call him back and talk things out, Dean tried calling about 10 times until Cas got up and shut his phone off. He drank some more, barely able to walk around the house, knocking things down on accident, waking Adam. Now wasn't the best time for little Adam to be up, both his dads were drunk, and one of them wasn't even there. He observed Cas attemtping to get up from the floor, scared and oblivious.

"Daddy?"

"Adam...g-o back to sssleep" he slurred on his words, eyes half closed, hair a mess.

"But you woke me up" he mumbled.

"I don't c-are Ad-am, g-go to sssleep" he spoke, barely, and pointed down the hallway.

"But Daddy I don't wan-"

"GO TO FUC-KING SSLEEP ADAM, LEAVE ME THE H-ELL ALO-NE!" he shouted and Adam backed away, scared and helpless, then he ran to his room and shut the door behind him. Cas sighed and realized what he'd done, feeling honestly sorry, but couldn't find the strength to get up. A knock came from the door and he couldn't get up to get it so he just shouted, asking who it was and he heard Sam's voice call and say it was him, and yelled back for him to come on in.

"Cas...Cas get up" Sam scurried over to him, wrapping Cas' arm over his own shoulder as he helped him to the couch.

"What are y-ou doing h-ere?" Cas asked, sipping on another bottle of beer. Sam looked around and noticed nearly 5 beers on the floor as well as half drinken whiskey bottles and shot glasses spilled around the bar.

"Cas, why are you abusing yourself like this? Stop" he scolded him, swiping the beer from his lips and slamming it on the side table.

"Why are y-ou h-ere? No one c-alled y-ou" he murmurred, swaying side to side because he couldn't sit up straight.

"Dean called me, said you turned off your phone after your guys fought, said you tend to drink a lot when you're upset, which I can see" he said, pointing out the alchohol spread around the house.

"Fuck Dean, he hurt me" Cas said, head falling back on the couch.

"Catsiel, he was drunk too okay? He's sorry, he wants to talk to you, please call him, because he won't stop calling me, and I have to sleep."

"Sorry Sam, I'll see him tomorrow" Cas said, trying to get up.

"Listen, Castiel, you're gonna call him whether you like it or not, he's still  _my_ brother" he hissed, inching towards his face. 

"Fine!" he shouted, throwing his arms up. Sam shook his head in relief and dialed Dean on his phone.

_Sam?_

_Yeah_

_Did you go over? Is he okay?_

_He's drunk out of his mind, if I didn't come he could be dead._

_Dammit..._

_He's willing to talk now_

_Good_

_Hello._

_Cas?_

_What Dean?_

_Are you okay babe?_

_Don't call me that._

_Why?_

_Because, I'm really mad at you right now_

_Cas, I'm sorry okay, hear me out._

_No._

_Castiel.._

_No Dean, I'm angry_

_I understand, and we're adults, we're supposed to talk it out._

_What part of 'no' don't you understand?_

_Any of it, because I want to talk to you_

_Save it for tomorrow when you come back_

_No, I won't go back unless you talk to me_

_Now that's no fair, suit yourself, we could use some more time away from each other_

_Castiel, shut up, let me talk, and listen to me, dammit._

_Dean I-_

_You're gonna listen to me_

_Fine, fucking talk then_

_  
_"Wait, do you not understand I have to get home?" Sam asked out loud.

"Can you just let us talk?" Cas asked.

"Cas, any other night I would, but I have work early in the morning and I need sleep, it's midnight, call him on your phone."

_Cas, just call me on your phone, are you gonna be okay on your own?_

_Probably_

_Then, just call me on your phone, please, okay?_

_Fine Dean._

_And let Sam take Adam._

_Why? Why does he need to take Adam?_

_Because you're still drunk, he doesn't need that, you can get him in the morning when you come for me, okay? Please babe-Cas._

_Fine, I'll call you in a couple minutes._

_Bye._

_  
_Cas hung up and walked over to Adam's room who was now asleep, but you could tell he had been crying by the moisture and dryness of his cheeks.

"Adam, get up" Cas shook him gently. He woke slowly and scooted back, scared when he saw Cas. "C'mon bug you're going with Uncle Sam" he whispered.

"Why?"

Cas sighed, "because, daddy's not feeling well and I don't want to yell at you again okay? I'm sorry" he said, still dizzy and vision a bit blurred, but tried his best to stay in concious.

"Okay daddy" he nodded and Cas picked him up, grabbing a change of clothes for him and stuck it in his backpack.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow and we'll go get daddy okay?" he smiled subtly, stooping down to his level, almost falling but Sam held him. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, I love you" he told him and kissed him on the forehead.

"It's okay Daddy" he said, and wrapped his small body around him, taking Sam's hand and they walked to the door.

"You gonna be okay Cas?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I can have Jess come over, or you can come over with us"

"No it's fine, I'll be okay."

"Please call Dean"

"I'm turning my phone on right now."

"Okay, and please do it though, I don't want him calling me again saying you didn't call him."

"Sam I got it, promise."

"Alright, Jess will have Adam tomorrow when you come get him, maybe when you get Dean, we can all go out for some lunch or dinner, sound good?"

"Sounds good, bye guys."

He left and Cas sighed, walking to his room carefully, conciousness coming back to him as he dialed Dean's number.

_Cas_

_Dean_

_You okay?_

_Yeah, I am_

_I'm sorry_

_Don't apologize_

_I am gonna apologize, you need an apology._

_You understand that I am upset though right?_

_You have every right to be._

_I know._

_I shouldn't have said those things._

_I know you shouldn't have._

_You know I don't mean them._

_Yeah you do, drunk people say the truth, it's been proven._

_Cas, don't get all factual on me._

_Sorry, but it's true._

_But I love talking to you._

_But apparently not all the time._

_Cas (sigh) I do. All the time? Yes. But you have to understand, I'm over here for a business trip, which means I'm doing business, I can't always talk. When **I** call  **you** and talk to you for however long we do, it means I have the time. When I call you and rush things, it just means I called so you wouldn't call me while I was busy or you get paranoid. Babe, I'm okay, you have to realize that, I love you and you're honestly all I've been thinking about these past 2 weeks. Hell, I was signing a check and I accidentally wrote your name instead of the other person's._

_Really?_

_Yeah babe, it just gets kind of overwhelming and people start to talk and I don't like that. I don't like being rushed to talk to you, I like talking to you with no limit to our time babe. I'm okay and if anything were to ever happen to me, you know I'd call you, or you'd find out._

_I know..._

_Then please babe, I mean my trip is pretty much over but next time I'm away for whatever reason it is, you'll understand, right?_

_Yeah Dean._

_Now I really am sorry for being a total jerk about it, I'm sorry for getting drunk, I just..miss you so much and being at work all the time kills me, I honestly needed you last night._

_I wish I could've been there._

_I wish you coulda been here too._

_I'm sorry I said fuck you, I didn't mean that, and I wasn't drunk-_

_yet_

_Yet...when I said it, so I didn't mean it._

_It's okay if you meant it babe, it's okay to let out your emotions sometimes._

_When sober_

_Yes, when sober. But sometimes it's good to let things out when you're drunk too so no secrets are kept._

_I see what you're saying. And about my whole 'pessimistic lifestyle', I'm sorry I'm such a Debbie Downer._

_No, you're not a Debbie Downer, you just, sometimes you just...are so negative about things and it makes me.._

_sick?_

_I guess, sick because you're such a happy person babe, you really are and you're so cute when you're happy, but when it comes to the little things, you're angry and upset and you hate everything._

_I'm sorry, I'll...I'll work on that._

_Don't change, just look at things differently, be optimistic sometimes._

_I will_

_Okay._

_And are you saying I'm ugly when I'm not happy?_

_No, haha, you know what I mean._

_Yeah._

_I love you_

_I love you too._

_I can't wait to see you again tomorrow, it feels like forever since I've kissed you._

_It really does..._

_Smile babe_

_You can't even see it anyways._

_But I can hear when you smile, your voice kinda does this thing when you smile, I find it the cutest thing ever._

_But..._

_sm-ile_

_Dean stop!_

_There it is, there it is God that was so cute, do it again._

_De-an_

_Ah! you did it!_

_I hate you._

_No you don't._

_You're smiling too._

_And how do you know?_

_Cause I can tell when you smile too._

_Well I guess we're both smiling right now huh?_

_I guess so (yawn)_

_Get some rest, relax._

_I will_

_Okay_

_Stay on the phone with me, until I fall asleep, unless that's too much._

_No, it's okay babe, I've got the time._

_Good_

_You sound so cute right now._

_Shut up._

_What? You do, you sound so groggy and your voice is so raspy, a mix of tired and drunk, hot._

_Dean stop_

_No_

_Dean!_

_You're smiling._

_I know, I can't help it, gosh. Stop making me smile._

_Or else what?_

_I....I'll.._

_Exactly_

_Dean, I love you._

_I love you too Cas._

_I'm actually...falling asleep..._

_Okay baby, sleep tight angel._

_I'll see you tomorrow..._

_You're smiling so much right now, I can tell_

_(silence)_

_I'll call you before I get on the plane, goodnight babe._

_N-ight...._

**September 11th, 2001**  
The next morning Cas woke up with the biggest headache, he vomited too and took some medicine to regulate his hangover. He was too excited to see Dean today, he tidied the house and made the bed, even though he knew once they were home, they'd tear the bed up again, and he smiled at the thought of that. He picked up bottle after bottle and threw them away, shaking his head and hating himself for what he did last night. When he was done, he realized it was only 6:02; too early and hours away till Dean was back. He stepped out on the balcony and lit a cigarette, sitting on the recliner they often had sex in. His phone rang and he drew it from his pocket.

_Dean?_

_Hey Cas, I'm about to board the plane._

_Really? I can't wait!_

_I know, I can tell you're smiling._

_Oh my God, enough of that._

_Well, I have some bad news._

_What?_

_They couldn't get a straight flight to New York, so I have to fly aalll the way to LAX, then it turns around to New York._

_Oh my God that's such a long time, what the hell? Why?_

_My company didn't get tickets quick enough, so I fired the guy, so I'll be home later on...tonight..._

_Are you fucking kidding me.._

_Nope._

_Dammit..._

_I know babe, but smile okay, I'm still coming home today._

_True, it's gonna suck for you...that's like a 10 hour flight..._

_Yeah I'll be back by like 4 or 5 though, so that's okay, we can go eat dinner tonight though._

_Okay._

_Sorry babe, hey quick thing_

_yeah?_

_How about just you come get me though and we'll go to the coffee shop since we haven't been there in a while, we'll sit where we first met, yeah?_

_You're such a hopeless romantic babe, haha, but okay, sounds like a plan, then we'll get Adam after._

_Yes, sounds great and hey.._

_What?_

_I can't wait to tear you up tonight._

_Shut up Dean!_

_You shut up, you know you can't wait for me inside you._

_I know Dean but quiet down, you're at an airport dumbass._

_Oh fine, fine, fine. I love you._

_I love you too babe, have a safe flight._

_I will, call you when I land in LAX._

_Alright, I love you._

_Love you too babe, bye._

 


	6. Foiled Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, things are sped up, travels through a few years.  
> Don't confuse Adam with the Adam in the show, yes the name was taken from it, but not the actual person himself, just for reference.

The morning transition from 6 to 7 already felt like a drag, Cas felt like taking the day off, not from work but from everyone, even Adam. He called up Jess and let her know what was going on, he just felt like having a day to himself, thought he'd go out and buy something for Dean since he had plenty of hours to wait. By 7:30 he was out the door and walking the already bustling streets of New York City, looking up at the clear sky and smiling because he knew Dean was up in a plane somewhere right about now, thinking about him. He went into the coffee shop and ordered a coffee, sat down and read a book, something he hadn't done in a long time since he'd been with Dean, it was nice. He took a breath and went through some polaroids that he had in his coat pocket of him and Dean at the hotel or on the boat, and Dean and Adam at the zoo and smiled, eager for him to come back so they could be a family again. He caught himself laughing to himself when he realized it had only been 2 weeks, but to him it felt like infinity. The waitress, they had added a few waitresses in the shop now, a pretty, young, blonde woman came to re-fill Cas' coffee when she noticed the pictures.

"That your family?" she asked with a jovial smile whilst pouring the coffee.

"Oh, yeah" he smiled, looking up at her, furrowing his brows as she had looked familiar. "Do I..know you?"

"I'm afraid not, what's your name?" she asked.

"Castiel Novak, well, now-Winchester" he smiled, proud and gitty to be able to finally say that to someone.

"Did you just say  _Winchester_?"

"Yes..why?"

"Let me see those" she said, grabbing the photos from his hand and he was confused. She carded through them furiously, gasping when she saw the picture of Cas and Dean kissing on the boat. They were really happy that day, the sky was clear and the water made their eyes gleam and reflect nicely in the camera, and she envied it, every second of staring at that photograph, she envied it. "Dean Winchester is your..husband?" she asked, turning red from anger and envy.

"Um, yes..why?" he asked, half scared and half creeped out.

She pointed to her nametag that read  _Jo Harvelle_ , "I'm Jo, I'm sure he's told you much about me."

"Actually, he had never really brought you up, maybe the first year we were together,  _once_ " he smirked.

"You think this is funny?"

"I think it's pretty funny how you cheated on him and told him you were sorry and that it was because he worked too much" he smiled, sipping on his coffee.

"Oh is that what he told you? Well how often does he come home to you? Where is he now? Not with you obviously" she scolded, red in the face and green with envy.

"He comes home to me  _every. single. night._ " he muttered, smiling with pride, "and the sex is gr-eat" he whispered, grinning with his teeth while she huffed in anger. "And I'm about to pick him up from a business trip in a few hours, we'll be sure to stop by, say hello."

"Get out of the shop!" she shouted and people's head turned.

"Will do" he smiled, picking his book up and his cup, non chalantly while he walked out the door, waving sarcastically over to her. He laughed and had to catch his breath, simply a moment he would have loved to share with Dean. By then it was 8:15. He strutted down the sidewalks, drinking his coffee, never more eager in his life. He was happier, just as Dean told him to be, and it felt good to smile without the help of Dean's presence for once.

**8:40 AM**

Cas' phone began to ring while he was walking down and past the Empire State Building, and to his surprise it was Dean's phone.

_Hey Dean!_

_Cas_

_Yeah? You okay? It sounds loud._

_I'm on the plane_

_Why are you calling me from the plane? I thought there was no service._

_No time to explain Cas-_

_But De-_

_Cas listen to me, our plane, our plane has been hijacked._

And those words right there, those words were like a bullet to the chest, his heart skipped a few beats and he dropped his coffee in the middle of the sidewalk, staring blankly in the distance, lips twitching. His head began to race as he heard screams and weird noises in the background of Dean's call.

_Cas_

_W-what_

_Cas listen to me babe_

_I- I am_

_I love you_

_Dean_

_Babe, please, I love you_

_Dean I love you too_

_Cas babe, I don't know what's gonna happen I'm gonna be honest with you (yelling in background)....someone's been stabbed on here and...we're descending really fast, babe I don't know._

_Dean...no_

_Castiel Novak, I love you_

_Dean please no, tell me this isn't happening_

_Cas I'm so sorry (muffled cries)_

_De-an_

_  
_Cas couldn't comprehend what was real and what wasn't, he heard nothing around him but Dean's cries and efforts to hide from whomever was hijacking the plane. The busy city wasn't so busy in his mind anymore, nothing was on his mind but Dean, his heart seemed to stop as he found himself coughing and gasping

_Cas, baby I love you so much please tell Adam, Sam, Jess, and Mary that I love them..._

_Dean stop talking like that_

_Cas please..._

_Dean..._

_Cas I'm so sorry_

_DEAN DON'T DO THIS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, NO! This is a fucking dream, I'm in a dream, I'm in a dream, no, Dean_

_Cas I have to go..._

_Dean no please stay with me, you're gonna go please babe..._

_C-as...._

_Stop Dean, stop fucking with me, I'm sorry but stop!_

_Don't apologize Cas, I love you and I'm so sorry_

_Dean don't do this_

_I'm sorry Ca-_

_(silence)_

_DEAN NO. DEAN, PLEASE. DEAN!_

_  
_Screams spewed from behind him as he snapped back into reality and smoke emerged from the sky. He turned, weak knees and eyes, vision blurry from tears, saw one of the skyscrapers destroyed in the middle, plane hanging on the side. He parted his lips and sank to his knees while people ran past him, screaming and curious, disconcerted.

"Dean no" he whispered, holding his chest with his hand that held a picture of him and Dean. "No Dean, no babe" he weeped, lips trembling as he bawled uncontrollably. His heart beated in a different rythym as he began to hyperventilate, people too distracted by the smoking tower to notice him. The smoke began to foil over the city, the clear sky was gone, and so was his short streak of happiness. Everything he loved was gone, emitted in the smoke. Sirens sang behind him, making their way down the streets and to the tower. People ran away from the smoke for it became hard to breathe, but Cas didn't care. Out of all the people running, Sam, fortunately, almost ran past him and dropped to his knees.

"Cas? Cas what are you doing I know it's sad but come on! We'll die out here!"

"I don't care" he murmurred, "I don't care anymore" he said, clenching and wrinkling the polaroid of him and Dean on the boat.

"You're crazy Cas, come on, you're gonna see Dean later let's go!"

"DEAN'S DEAD!"

"What? No, he's on a plane, come on!" Cas pointed up at the barely visible tower and wept.

"That was his fucking plane Sam, that one."

"No Cas, he was going to LAX, no way that was his plane."

"He just called me! He called me and told me he was sorry, to tell you he loved you Sam, he's dead!"

"Cas, what?"

"He's dead Sam...." Cas said one last time.

Sam looked out and over at the tower, blank and disconcerted. They knew they couldn't be in that smoke or they'd die, suffocate. Neither of them could move, their world came crashing down along with the tower, when they saw yet another plane crash into the identical tower across from the first one. They couldn't comprehend anything at the moment. Part of their life had just been shriveled and torn to pieces.

**September 23rd, 2001**

**  
**Sam and Cas were barely alright, they attended a memorial for Dean and all the other passengers at the rubble that hadn't been cleared yet. Adam was young and didn't quite understand why all these people came and mourned the rubble. There were roses and candles, signs, personal belongings along the temporary gate that had been put there. Cas couldn't believe Dean was gone. His head hurt, every single night. He woke up often, thinking it was a dream and smiled, thinking Dean was next to him, then he realized the truth. He even thought out his own suicide before Jess caught him in the act. He'd been put on medication to regulate his emotions and relax him. He drank more and often sat on the couch, staring at nothing. He kept one picture of them 2 and Adam.

Sam and Cas tried hunting down Dean's old friends, they were going to give him a funeral, without a body, just ashes from the debris that the workers who had to clean up the rubble handed to victims' families, including them 2. They would use those and bury them somewhere in a cemetary. The hardest thing Sam had to do was track his own father down. It seemed nearly impossible, but he actually did it. John flew in 2 days later, meeting Castiel for the first time. Sam and John took it roughly, barely able to look each other in the face because of past times, but also because Dean was gone. He didn't like Castiel already, he didn't like the fact that his son was, or had, been gay. Sam fought with him and told him stuff like  _Dean's your son and he was in love, at least treat this man with respect!_ And John would respond by drinking, until the day of the funeral.

**September 27th, 2001**

  
Not many people showed up, just some people Dean had mentioned to Cas that were easily recognizable. Garth, Bobby, and some other people he couldn't quite remember. He introduced himself, feeling a little better but also melancholy, knowing today would be the final mourning day for Dean. He introduced everyone to Adam, who was quite convivial, such as Dean was. He'd get a lot of compliments like:  _Reminds me of Dean! Took on Dean's persona I see!_ And they didn't know how much that killed Cas on the inside, but he kept quiet. John came to get along with him, he even asked Cas about their relationship, and he seemed fairly interested, taking a liking in Adam, as he finally had someone to call Grandpa, Grandpa Winchester. _  
_

The time came and Cas dreaded it, as well as Sam. Sam gave some speech about old stories Cas had heard a thousand times about Sam and Dean's childhood, and he still laughed, not as much though because only Dean would ever be able to make him laugh like that. He mentioned Cas in his speech, noted how happy he had made Dean, and everyone looked over at him often smiling and nodding their heads and he'd half smile back. Then the moment Cas dreaded most, his speech and final mourning moment.

"For those who don't know me, I'm uh-Castiel Novak, Dean's partner. We met at this one coffee shop, came off as a total douchebag, at least I thought" and they laughed, "but man, was I wrong. It started when he returned my license in the elevator of our building, we happened to live in the same high rise, " he smiled nostalgically, "he just always ran into me and well, I caved and he was the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. The year and a half I had him was..the best year and a half ever and, Adam, we adopted Adam and he came into our lives and brought us closer. Of course, he's too young to comprehend all this, though he knows Dean is gone" he gulped, trying to hold back is tears, but failed, "I'm gonna miss him, a l-ot" he said, nodding his head and trembled his lips, "I loved him a lot, he changed me, he really did." Everyone began to weep quietly, "He was a really good guy and I'm gonna miss him. And he was a great dad too, Adam really loved him, and actually we still do. So here's to Dean...............we love you."

* * *

 

And the months, even years passed, Cas actually didn't have a breakdown like he thought he would. He did end up moving from the penthouse with Adam, quit his job being a teacher and settled down in the offskirts of Connecticut, a town called Greenwich. He watched Adam grow up, never fell in love with anyone else again while he aged, taking care of Adam and telling him stories about Dean and how great he was. Adam grew to be just like Dean, every manner, it made Cas feel a little closer to him. He was happy, Dean was in a better place and soon he'd be with him. Just some asshole he met at a coffee shop, some asshole who changed his mind on everything, some asshole who changed his  _life_ _._

**March 30th, 2027**

**  
**Cas had passed away from some disease he had caught when it spread around America. Before he died, he let Adam, who was now 25, know that he wanted to be buried next to Dean. Sam came, so did Mary who was 20, and Jess, even John who seemed really old now. It was just them when they buried him. He remembered Sam asking if he wanted a ride back into town and he said no, he wanted to stay at the grave a while longer, mourn a bit as he took it surprisngly well. He knelt down on a knee and wiped his face from the few flowing tears that formed in his eyes.

"Hey dad...and dad.." he laughed to himself, "It's crazy isn't it? Your guys' story was great, I loved being part of it. I didn't remember much of you dad," he said, holding onto Dean's headstone, "I was only little when you died but I could imagine by what dad told me, you were a great father, and I love you." He choked on his words and unexpectedly began to cry, pulling out a familiar, aged polaroid from his suit's pocket. "Found this in your drawer next to your bed dad" he sniffed, looking at Cas' freshly dug grave, "thought you might want it" he said, digging a tiny hole in the fresh pile of dirt and patted it down. He stared at his fathers' graves for moments before he realized he was again an orphan, not technically, but in his mind he was still one because he had no one but Sam left. His tears became uncontrollable and he pounded his fist in the dirt, "why did this happen to me?" he yelled, but he realized he'd never get an answer. He rested both hands on the headstones and closed his eyes, inhaling the smell of the fresh grass and soil, rasing himself to his feet. "I love you guys."

A couple years later, he had taken up the same penthouse Dean had back then. He met someone, a nice girl by the name of Lisa. He ended up marrying her, with no fathers to be there. He did have Sam though, he was like a father to him, sometimes even caught himself calling him dad.

One day he had alone to himself, he walked into some coffee shop that seemed old but friendly. Took a seat by a window, secluded in the back and he pulled out his laptop. He stared out at the busy streets, still beautiful and snowy. The waitress brought him his coffee, ended up spilling a bit on the table and she cleaned it up for him. She rubbed over the aged, wooden table, noticing some carved hearts and words.

"Damn kids these days!" she laughed, walking back and Adam laughed too, running his fingers over the carved wood. He noticed familiar letters and looked closer.

 _"D.W. + C.N. 1999"_ engraved in a heart lay before him and his heart sank, but floated back, giving him a relieving sensation, for he felt closer to his parents after all. He opened up a typing program on his laptop and hestitated to type. He licked his lips and rubbed his chin and smiled.

_Started out at a small coffee shop in the fall of 1999, the smoke of the coffee flooded the place, bringing strangers closer....._

* * *

* * *

 

Here is a playlist I've created for this fic, if you're interested

[Smoke](http://archiveofourown.org/works/819947/chapters/1585071/) from [KasNovak](http://archiveofourown.org/works/819947/chapters/1585071/) on [8tracks Radio](http://8tracks.com).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End, thanks for reading.


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